Being a Leo, I'm a little tempestuous and volatile. I know, big shock huh?! Those who only read this blog and have this as the only contact into my world will probably be surprised, those who follow me on twitter and have witnessed occasional but fairly restrained rants will smirk knowingly, those who actually know me (like my family, a few long-term friends, or one or two real-life blogging friends – MammyWoo and Mummy Mishaps) will not be surprised at my revelation that I'm a stroppy-arsed bugger sometimes.
I say all this to you because I have been asked by one of those blogging friends to have a temper tantrum, stamp my foot (it's usually the right one) and declare what I want. Not what needs doing in the house, not what The Boy wants, but me. What is it I want?
So here goes. I WANT:
- To find something to wear to the MAD Blog Awards next Friday night in London. This is harder than it sounds because I'm a big bird and don't do dresses. Plus I'm going to be surrounded by glamorous mummies in beautiful dresses and my roots need doing.
- To have a hair appointment magically available so I can get said roots sorted. And for it not to take four hours like the last time he cut and highlighted my hair.
- To have a pair of ruby slippers or a transporter like on ST:TNG so that I can get to the MADs without having to deal with a two hour train journey to London (albeit in first class). And then to get home the next morning so I can see my boy. I'd also like to use this to nip down to Coombe Mill to enjoy the tractor run, or see the stars at night. Or to take The Boy to Barcelona, or Las Vegas. Be handy for getting a pizza in Capri too.
- To not have a pile of ironing constantly on the dining table.
- To have a gardener clear the weeds from my garden because my back and pelvis won't let me.
- To have Eldorado back on television.
- To not have to work.
- To win the lottery so I can have our dream house built with one of those spiral staircase slides installed. And a swimming pool. And a cinema.
- To not be a heffalump. This would make finding an outfit for the MADs easier.
- To not feel like I'm losing the plot sometimes.
- To have David Tennant back in Doctor Who. Matt Smith is bloody rubbish.
- To have people in school realise that just because I'm the ICT co-ordinator it doesn't mean I'll help them buy a personal laptop, or sort out their mobile phones or change the ink cartridge, or be their personal assistant when creating a table in Publisher. None of this involves the teaching of ICT to the children.
- To understand the Tots100.
- To be able to eat what I want without gaining half a stone at each meal. (This is only slightly exaggerated.)
- To have teeth that don't actually fall apart when I chew on a piece of cheese. (This is not exaggerated.)
- To have people realise that when I say I'm an anonymous blogger that does not mean it's ok to share my name or a photo of me.
- To know who Kat is sleeping with.
- To find out why Sharon does that weirdy wide eye thingy.
- To have ready access to new episodes of Gossip Girl that focus on Chuck Bass.
- To be able to go to bed before eleven every night.
- To not have low self-esteem.
- To not have anxiety attacks that result in hysteria on a London tube platform.
- To win the photography award next Friday. (There I said it!)
- White chocolate.