SWF Seeks A New BFF

No not me don't worry! Having just celebrated ten years of marriage, I think Mr. TheBoyandMe might be a little concerned to see me using asingles dating service.

The other day the 'My Pictures' screensaver started up on the laptop. The Boy absolutely adores watching the pictures flash up and was fascinated by one of them that he hasn't seen before; a group shot of our wedding. I opened up the picture for him to study in greater detail and we spent a good ten minutes identifying the people in it. He realised who mummy and daddy were, could find the immediate relatives but some of the extended family were a bit trickier, and some of his cousins were just a twinkle in their daddies' eyes at the time.

Looking around the group was fascinating to see the relationships that have flourished or withered since our wedding day. Two of the couples were married within a few months of us (one of them since divorced sadly, the other still on the up), two more marriages have had their trials and tribulations but still going strong, one couple split with my friend now happily married to her millionaire (I kid you not) and a little Welsh Cake cooking, one has since found her dream husband, and one just seems to have no luck.

For this final friend, my heart breaks. All she wants is to settle down and have a family, but it's just not happening. Having moved from Cardiff to the south coast of England earlier this year to settle down with someone who she thought was Mr. Right, she's found out he was Mr. Alright-Not-Now-Love-I'm-Busy-Talking-To-This-Other-Woman and has had to relocate cities and jobs again.

I'm not sure why she has such difficulty; she's slim, attractive, bubbly, successful (a store manager in a well-known high-street store), caring and funny. Somehow though, she seems to keep finding men who are incapable of maintaining a relationship for longer than a year. I've told her that she needs to look at the relationships in a different light, base them on friendship for longevity rather than his ability to hold a pint of lager, packet of crisps and a cheeky vimto without spilling a drop. She has decided that she will be using an online dating facility from now on, and at least that way she can get all the awkward questions out the way and sort the wheat from the chaff!

I'm hoping that when I've finished celebrating the next ten years of wedded bliss, I will look at that picture and be safe in the knowledge that she found Mr. Right and not another Mr. Alright-You'll-Do!

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  1. Jenny paulin says

    I like what you have done here – a great read and a superb ending 🙂 i hope your friend finds her ideal man like my friend has

  2. says

    I'd love to give online dating a go…not sure if Matt would be too pleased, but it must be hard when all you want to do is settle down & have kids.
    Great post & well written

  3. says

    Ahh such a shame when really nice people haven't found their Mr/Mrs Right when they really really deserve it. I hope she does find love quick! My cousin is in the same loveless boat.

  4. says

    Hope she finds her Mr. Right! One of my closest friends found her husband through an online dating site – they've been married six years now and are very happy 🙂

  5. says

    I'm laughing! But what you perhaps don't realise is why. HD and I met over online dating and believe me, I'm an expert at it. My friends and family could not believe how 'matter of fact' I was with the dating scene.
    I'm impulsive, so can't do the trawling round pubs looking for a perfect man – cos I was very unlikely to find my match there anyway! Nor was I going to find him in the aisles at Morrisons (Sainsbury's maybe 🙂
    I had used online dating off and on for 2 yrs and I can spot a player off the field, never mind on it. I would stop when I just hadn't got the time to meet anyone or just felt it wasn't the right time – so had no hang ups about how it worked or whether I was 'searching for the wrong man'.
    I think that you have to have the right frame of mind and absolutely not ever to feel rushed or desperate about it. Be yourself, look for things to do and places to meet that are public and limited (like coffee – nice coffee mind) and then allow things to progress if it seems right.

    We were both in a place of 'whatever will be will be' and he was the only guy to actually stop me in my confident (a characteristic built over a very difficult time) self and want to spend 'lots' of unbelievably comfortable time with him. He was the only one not to 'oversell' himself and give me tales of earning copious amounts of dosh in the place they lived (work).
    I was getting ready for 'anothe'r date when I simply called and asked what he was up to (this was the day after meeting). A mad dash to tidy his pad at my unexpected call – leading to 'that film' – Love Actually! And there you have it – 6 years on, 3 children between us and we still communicate online (tee hee).

    You CAN find your knight in shining armour online – I did!

    • TheBoyAndMe says

      Completely and utterly agree, and it happens when you're least expecting it! Mr. TheBoyandMe also came across each other online, but met at a New Years party 2000. We kept in touch online, and by the time we met again, we'd 'virtually' fallen in love with each other already!

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