I've spent the weekend in Manchester, failing to see Justin Fletcher filming his new CBeebies show. After a horrendous seven hours travelling 190 miles, and missing his MBE-ness by forty minutes, I have learnt several things.

  1. I like people-watching.
  2. The Premier Inn, Trafford Centre West is a fabulous budget hotel. I'd recommend it.
  3. The Trafford Centre is just crazy.
  4. I have met some amazing friends through twitter and blogging.
  5. A rather sage piece of advice that I need to remember more often:

'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent' (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Now, I've recently been asked by someone why I had her on limited profile on Facebook but not another person. That there is why I don't tend to add twitter/blogging people to my 'real' Facebook account. People know I'm a teacher in a small-town and that I like to keep my family's anonymity. If I have added someone as a friend to my 'real' Facebook profile, I do not see why I have to explain that to someone else.

Being told that I've made someone feel really down about themselves is emotional blackmail, and instead of making me change my settings, it's only served to make me angry and want to press delete. I did that about six months ago and had to deal with the fallout from various people's insecurities then.

I've got my own insecurities and issues to deal with, without having to deal with someone else's. I'm the type of person who spends too much time worrying what other people think of me, I always have. I would never do anything to hurt anyone intentionally, and think that if people just had a few more kind words or a smile to share with people on a daily basis, then the world would be a far happier place.

However, I don't owe anybody a Facebook friendship. My work colleagues and immediate family are on there. There's photos of my brothers and sisters, mum and dad, my husband, my child and me on there. I try not to let the worlds merge too much because I like to remain, as HimUpNorth once called me, The Stig of blogging. There are some people who I have added, there are some I haven't. Deal with it.

This is my life, if I wanted everyone to know who I was, then I wouldn't have a pseudonym would I?

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  1. Mammywoo says

    Well said missis X. Well said.
    And in the words of Britney spears.
    It's your prerogative.
    It's mmmmmyyyy prerogative! *dances round kitchen*
    (seriously is that how you spell prerogative? I think the IPhone is playing a trick on me. Shouldn't it be Perogotive? Separate issue I know, but spelling is important!)
    Love you.
    (you make me feel great…. Just FYI! ;0)

  2. Kathleen says

    That wasn't Britney it was Bobby Brown!
    But yes, it is your choice. To get upset about not being accepted on what is just a social network indicates that maybe they should spend some more time in the real world with real live people.

  3. would like to be a yunmy mummy says

    Some people are so insecure its unbelievable. Try not to worry its up to you who you choose to be friends with/share info with :-) Xx

  4. says

    I'm shocked that someone made you feel like that.

    I have 4 bloggers added to Facebook, I talk to these people regularly, trust them and one shares a mutual friend. I recently had a few people adding me and I felt quite offended. These were people I'd never really spoken to, who's faces I recognised but couldn't place to a blog.

    I'm quite happy for those who I ACTUALLY speak to on Twitter to add me as a friend on Facebook, but in return I'd like some to accept that its my PERSONAL profile, so although I share information on my blog and on Twitter, I still need my space and there is a limit.

  5. says

    God really??! That's awful them making you feel like that. I have a select few people who can see all my photos and then another group who can't. It's stuff I'd share with them in real life and trust them. I can also detect, very quickly, when I'm in someone's limited profil group.. It's not a personal thing and I accept that. People like that aren't worth the effort sometimes…glad you deleted 'em!

  6. Amanda says

    Really interesting! I keep mine quite separate too. I only have one FB friend on there from twitter and vice versa. So I see where you are coming from entirely Twitter is not really 'real life' I suppose, whereas FB is? x

  7. says

    I'm shocked that someone would react like that! It's clear the reasons why you wish to keep your anonymity & good for you. I totally respect that decision and understand the reasons for it – anyone that doesn't isn't worth worrying about!

  8. Jenny Paulin says

    Hear hear *claps hands* how very dare someone make you feel like that! The main reason I love twitter so much is because I converse with lovely people who know me for who I am through my tweets and my blog. FB is full of people i know/did know in my real life and withthe iddd exception, none of thrm are friends wiith me really outside of FB.
    I I joined twitter cos I was fed up with FB! I have 3 people I tweet with as my friends on FB because I feel they are my friiends. Having met you, I considered asking you (I consider you a friend too) if you wanted to be 'friends' on FB but felt it was impertinent of me because I know you are a private person.
    As I have said before, it's up to YOU because it's your life, your decisions and your FB profile
    Sorry for the waffle xx

  9. KatieB says

    You really shouldn't have to justify yourself in terms of that chick. Many people have different rules when it comes to FB and Twitter, and you've always made it very clear you're extremely private because of your job and family life.

    I always vowed to keep FB and Twitter entirely separate. I have bent this rule for a few, but my FB is very personal, not in terms of what I post but I have a lot of pictures of my family on there which I don't want to be accessible to everyone. It's your FB profile and no one has the right to accuse you of causing their emotional turmoil because you don't owe them at all! xx

  10. says

    I've never felt FB or Twitter were quid-pro-quo, and I, like you, choose to keep some distance between the different circles in which I operate: family, friends, colleagues, clients, blogging acquaintances, etc. A few days ago, someone who's followed me on Twitter called me out (with a Boo)! for not reciprocating. It made me more resigned not to follow back.

  11. says

    What an idiot. Honestly – people need to accept that Twitter and Facebook are not real life. And if someone doesn't know you in real life then it's ludicrous to expect to be able to barge into private conversations.

    I don't accept anyone as a friend on Facebook if I don't know who they are, I am almost never friends with blog names, and most of the bloggers I am friends with Facebook are on a limited profile of one kind or another.

    Similarly, I follow and unfollow people on Twitter all the time, or switch which account I follow them from, depending on who I'm talking to, what I'm interested in, what I'm not interested in (EastEnders, X-Factor).

    If someone gets the huff about it, that's all about them and not me, in my book. It's all about conversations and we have different conversations, with different people, and different levels of intimacy, all the flippin' time.

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