This weekend we travelled up to Manchester for various reason (that's a whole other blog-post!) and stayed in the rather lovely Premier Inn Trafford Centre West. When Mr. TheBoyandMe was putting The Boy to bed last night, I went down to the hotel lobby with my laptop and bought a drink. I then sat people watching, and this is the result.
21:30 I am sat in the hotel lobby while hubby puts The Boy to bed. People watching. There may be some random tweets that follow. More than normal.
21:31 The most 'manicured to within an inch of her life' woman has just teetered past me in orange 4-inch high heels. They matched her tan.
21:32 Her hair had not a strand out of place; evey highlight and lowlight knew where it should be, her false eyelashes needed a suspension bridge.
21:33 and Jesus Christ the hemline of her LBD almost covered her arse. It was a good St. Tropez.
21:35 Woman who came in this time last night has just sauntered back in with her filofax & laptop. I reckon she's head office.
21:36 (to someone who demanded a twitpic of the LBD's hemline) perv'. She's gone now, her and her orange heels and tan.
21:36 She's gone. I suspect her 'ride' had arrived
21:37 And the 9yr old (?) boy who was hanging around last night is here again. Is that his mum or sister on reception?
21:38 Although not sure about the parentage of this boy. He seems to belong to the hotel, like a dog. Everyone knows him.
21:38 Now, is she Spanish or French?
21:41 She really shouldn't be wearing those tight salmon pink cropped yoga pants.
21:43 Two hippos wrestling!
21:44 Receptionist looks like she's seen a ghost. Foundation too pale, hair dye too dark, eyebrows too plucked & ponytail too tight.
21:45 Love seeing everyone struggling with the slow-moving revolving doors when they're an automatic door right next to it.
21:47 Two deaf people ordering at the bar. Barman not speaking at all. They look most amused at his signs. Pretty sure they can lipread mate.
21:49 Mate, you should not be wearing that bright green, silver sequinned top. Definitely not.
21:50 Who is this hotel boy? He's people watching as much as me, but the beauty of him being a kid is he asks people the questions I'm thinking!
21:51 Oh an Italian barman, but naff accent like Gino d'Acampo. Someone's ordered champagne.
21:53 Are they Spanish? Hmm. Dressed in puffa jackets in August? Definitely Mediterranean…
21:54 Ooooh someone's just brought in a Pizza Hut take out! Is he allowed?
21:55 Who is he? (http://yfrog.com/h811kcmj)
21:56 My word, that hair (http://yfrog.com/hwpt4j)
21:56 'Love Lipsy'? You also love peroxide and hairspray love
21:58 And tell your mum her bum's too big for those leggings #bitchytweet
21:58 I aim to offer a light entertainment alternative to the X Factor.
22:01 An 8yr old girl has just walked past pushing a pushchair and texting pn her crystal studded mobile phone. Where's her childhood gone?
22:02 OMG OMG! She's wearing tummy flattening pants under her salmon pink dress. I can see the waistband and bulge above. She's didn't need them.
22:04 I know. Although people keep looking at me oddly because I'm laughing at the laptop!
22:05 She's definitely his mum. Just handed him a drink of water (no, you're not having coke!).
22:19 Aha, now American accent when speaking English but Mediterranean looking? Aha, that would be Hebrew! They're Israeli. And ginger…
22:20 The receptionis has changed her top to a black one. Think that means she's on the bar now
22:21 Also, she's just shown him where Norway is on the computer screen.
22:21 These two blokes want to get into Manchester & can't understand why they can't get a taxi. #gaypride
22:21 I'll have those bhajiis if no-one wants to claim them
22:22 And I'm sure he was wearing a black shirt earlier, but now he's wearing purple and on reception. How random.
22:25 The bar is ever so busy. I'm wearing black, maybe I should go and help out?
22:26 Oooh now, he's got a purple shirt on but gone back to the bar! No no, you need to be wearing black to be on the bar
22:26 Now that's confused me. He's just called her Scarlet, obviously not his mum
22:27 Some bugger has left the automatic door open & now I'm cold
22:32 The nice lady who smiled at me came down for a drink with her daughter & was looking for a seat. Surrendered my place for her so am in room.
22:33 and now she's on reception again. All wrong!
22:34 I miss the lobby. Sod an early night, I might go back down in a moment. I miss the man in the green sequinned t-shirt.
22:37 When I go home, I may just go and find my nearest Premier Inn lobby and live there every Saturday night.
I know it's a load of old piffle, but there's now't so queer as folk!