It's the Summer Term.
This means several things in the world of a primary school teacher, but specifically two events. One will see me wielding a paintbrush and asking children to sit still and stop blinking while I apply copious flourishes of pink swirls to their newly adorned butterfly faces. The other will mean standing around for several hours, being bored out of my skull, repeating the same instructions over and over again.
So as I watch the eleventy billionth child stand in the hoop and pull it over their heads, while the adoring parents of little Susie coo and gasp at her falling over the hurdles again, I shall try and desperately muster up my best fixed smile. I will impersonate a parrot "dribble the ball around the cones and then run back down the right, I said RIGHT hand side back to your team mates" and then I will more than likely fall off my perch with utter numbskulling drudgery.
I'll admit it here and now. I bloody hate Sports Day.
It's not as bad as it used to be when essentially I was on crowd control for two hours while the children watched their faster and stronger class-mates winning every race. We now do a carousel of activities involving every child in every class. I will be organising the obstacle race. It's quite fun the first time, but the fifth I could cry with monotony. By the eighth rotation, I may well be found trying to crawl along the ground behind the beanbag race to escape to a better world. A world without whistles and hands up and score sheets and "get behind the line!"
Of course before that delight, I have the Summer Fayre. This, I am bitter and twisted about. It's on the same day as CyberMummy so I can't go and have fun there. Instead I am destined to spend two and a half hours painting pink butterflies (what about a frog? No? You want a pink butterfly. An alien? No? Ok, what about a purple butterfly? No? It has to be pink does it?) on children's faces. That is after I have had to turn up at 9am on my day off (!) to help set up. I am peeved.
Only 10 working days left, but God I wish they'd pass.