And On The Eighth Day…

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It's now exactly one week since we started potty-training with The Boy and I am over the moon at how well he has done learning to control his bladder.

The day started with yet another completely dry nappy, surely helped by him waking up at midnight and asking to go on the potty? That's two nights in a row that he's done that. I'm not counting my chickens before they're hatched, but I am pretty impressed that he was able to do that. Whether it was a deliberate or a coincidental waking, I don't know. I suspect his bladder was hurting from holding its contents and that woke him up. Hopefully he then associated the feeling and asked for the potty.

We've stopped charting the drinks and visits to the potty now, there doesn't seem much point. I know that he can last over an hour in between potty visits, and that he will take himself to the potty when he needs to go. The one thing that I've noticed though, and at the moment it is concerning me, is that he is, quit frankly, doing less poos. I don't know why. I've managed for the last few days to get him to go after lunch through encouragement, but not today. Not this is The Boy who used to be a two-a-day type of toddler. I'm hoping this will develop quickly!

The biggest thing we've done in potty training so far though is going out today! We only went to Ikea, which is five minutes down the road, and were out for a total of an hour and half. However, he remained accident-free throughout that time. He went (using the marvellous Potette!) when we were there and was perfectly happy for the entire trip out.

On the way back home we stopped at a corner shop to get some milk and bread, when he came out with "Mummy, I need a wee-wee." My heart raced and I jumped out of the (stationary, don't worry) car and called to hubby. He pegged it out the shop and we jumped back in the car. I'm sure I should have taken longer than two minutes to get home but there was nowhere to set up the Potette and it wasn't worth the effort. The clever little lad held it for that entire time with only the tiniest spot of wee on his pants, minute really. And oh boy, had he needed that wee!

I won't write up a daily post about potty training any more now because it's only going to include "he went on the potty!"

So, on the eighth day, she rested!

ShowOff ShowCase: The One That Should Have Done Better

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This weekend, I'd like you to link-up a post that you wrote that filled you with a sense of satisfaction. You typed that last full stop, pressed 'publish' and thought "yes, this will be a good one!" and waited. And waited.

But no bugger actually bothered to read it, or if they did they certainly didn't comment on it!

Why? I can still hear you shouting it at the stats counter/comments log.

Heaven only know why. They didn't deserve it, they were good posts. Don't leave those poor posts being teased and taunted in the corner of the blog-posts' playground by the stat-breakers. It's not their fault that they were published on a Bank Holiday or when people were experiencing blog-apathy. They don't deserve to feel inadequate, not when they've done nothing wrong.

This weekend, I'd like you to help that post to hold its head up high! Brush them off, stick my badge at the bottom of the post and show them off for everyone to see. Don't be ashamed of them, help them shout at everyone:

I SHOULD HAVE DONE BETTER!

ShowOff ShowCase

 

Dare I Whisper the Question?

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Today was a good day. A very good day!

It started when daddy picked him up from his cot after waking. He said "daddy, I do a wee-wee!" to which daddy thought 'aye well, you've got a nappy on mate, it's fine.' Daddy took his nappy off (The Boy's, not daddy's) to discover it was bone-dry and on the potty The Boy did the most enormous wee to ever come out of a two year old boy. That it the first time he has done it, but he was dry through the night!

By the time I cam downstairs he had taken himself off to the potty independently and done another tinkle after breakfast. During the course of the morning, he did this on a further two occasions! One of them was when he was excitedly playing with his adored cousins: just stopped and went to the potty, all by himself. At the moment I am staying with him and prompting him if needed, but he really seems to have got the idea of how to use the potty and each of the steps. He's even learnt how to put his shorts back on himself, even if he does pull them up to his armpits!

A couple of times I've tried to put him on the potty and he's got cross with me because he doesn't need to go, and he genuinely didn't. I guess the lesson there is that he now knows if he needs to or not!

After lunch today there was no poonami, you'll be pleased to hear! We followed the same pattern as onWednesday and he did a lovely big deposit for me. It's also interesting to see a pattern emerging of when he goes.

When he woke up from his afternoon nap, his nappy was bone dry again. Bone dry! Another enormous wee followed and then he lasted more than an hour and twenty minutes before he decided that he needed to go again. Playing in the garden after dinner, and building the Little Tikes house that Toys R Us have sent me him to review, he stopped playing and pulled his shorts down. The only problem there was that he was 15 ft from a potty and hubby and I were trying to screw the roof together. I've not moved so fast in an awful long time!

So basically, he is now going independently on his pot. Well, I say independently: decides when he wants a wee, pulls his shorts and pants down and goes, I give him tissue paper to wipe, he pulls up pants & shorts, we wash hands. That's independent isn't it?

As I'm typing this up, he has just called out to us in his sleep. He asked hubby to come in the room. Hubby went in and tweeted this message three minutes later:

Son just woke up. Wanted his potty. Straight back to sleep afterwards. #pottytraining

He just woke up and asked to go to the toilet!

So dare I? Dare I whisper it? Or shall I wait a few more days first?

Listography: Guilty Pleasures

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It's been weeks since I've taken part in my one of my three favourite linkies, many apologies to the gorgeous KateTakes5. However, I can't let this one past: Guilty Pleasures.

  • Home and Away

Aside from a few random episodes a month or so ago, I've not seen this in well over six months, possibly even a year! For me it just hasn't been the same since the departure of this chap:

And no, before hubby looks at me and says "I always knew it!", it was not just about his cheeky grin and pecs but because he was funny, could act and actually brought some life to the programme. However, I may have to turn back on and enjoy the mannerisms of Alf and Marilyn soon, I need a little Summer Bay in my life.

  • Arctic Roll

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, it's gorgeous! Simple as!

  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Absolutely brilliant, at it's peak with Spike (phwoargh). Specifically the episode where everyone forgets who they are and he comes out with a torrent of typically 'English' swear words, and 'Once More With Feeling'.

  • Naff middle-of-the-road pop songs from the 90s

Let Loose "Crazy for You" and Steps were my all time favourites. Have both CDs and still listen to them. Don't care, deal with it.

  • Gossip Girl

Think what you will of me but it's bloody brilliant. If I was 14 years younger you wouldn't think so badly of me for fancying Chuck Bass, but he is a God and makes that programme amazing. Without him and Blair's on-again, off-again relationship, it would be just a Serena Van Der Woodsen fashion show!

—

Now pop yourself over to KateTakes5 and check out the other 50+ entries

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Five and Six, Clean Up Stinks

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It was all going to so well. Probably it still is, but I'm the type of person that when you've been riding high on the crest of a wave (albeit a wee one), a minor stumble sends me crashing down into the murky, poohy waters.

Sorry, too many toileting references there? Get used to them because potty training is frank and all encompassing.

Yesterday was brilliant. The Boy really did superbly. In the morning he stopped playing, looked down at his pants and said "Oh no, they coming down!", pulled them down and took himself for a wee. I was astounded and so very proud of him. We might have had big kisses and cuddles, possibly a silly dance together too. Later on after lunch, he was a little windy and fragrant so I sat him down, told what I wanted him to do, explained how to help it happen and then read his potty training picture book to him. I was looking on the pictures on the penultimate page, debating if that was a potette travel potty the little boy was sitting on when a little hand gripped my leg and I saw The Boy was shaking with the effort. Well blow me down with a feather if he hadn't just managed a deposit! I was even more proud of him than for the wee, and we definitely did a silly little dance then.

Then he had a tiny little accident. Whoops! But it's ok because I explained to him that it was his willy's way of telling him that he had to sit down on the potty quickly. Success! He went the rest of the day with no accidents and visits every hour.

Today started with a delivery of our Buppy pads that we had ordered. I instantly felt a little more relieved about the prospect of travelling to Manchester next Friday with a child who will have only been training for, by then, a fortnight. Mid morning, we popped to Starbucks and then my mum's for lunch. Coming home I decided to try The Boy with the same routine as yesterday lunchtime. All he produced was a wee after a few minutes of trying. I took the potty to the downstairs loo to empty and clean when I heard an informative little cry…

"I done a poo-poo on the carpet mummy!"

My heart sank. Why, oh why, hadn't I just sat there with him for one minute longer. I knew he needed to go, all the signs were there? And why in God's name, hadn't I left one of the many potties that we have amassed within plain sight for him? What a fool I was. I raced in with wipes and nappy sack to discover yes, there was indeed a deposit on the carpet, but that he had done it in his pants because he had been distracted by the bloody television. I sorted it all out while reassuring him that it was all ok, went to the utility room to sort it out (giving him a spare potty first) and had a silent weep for 20 seconds to myself.

Going back into the living room, I discovered that his new pair of pants were damp. I hadn't even had time to finish cleaning out the poo-potty before having to empty and clean out this one! And then, the washing machine went on with a collection of pre-soaked pants from the past few days.

So, what have I learnt?

  • That I know when my son needs to go because nappies used to disguise pops and pants don't.
  • That he can produce when on the potty, I just need to be patient.
  • That a few minutes after he has performed, he will need to do a wee. It seems that the emptying of the bowel must relieve the pressure on The Boy's bladder.
  • I am knackered and need to go to bed earlier.
  • I don't have enough chocolate in the house.

Day Four in the Potty-Training House…

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… and I'm going slightly mad! When hubby comes home from work, I will be like the flash to get in the car and out to Starbucks. Even The Boy recognises my need to freedom, "We go Starbooks mummy. You need a caramel coffee frappucino. I need one too!" See? Potty-training is hard on everyone.

So far today, I have come downstairs for breakfast to the sound of "it's ok, daddy get the wipes STAND STILL!", which I looked at and walked away from. Nowt in my stomach means I can't deal with poo first thing. Daddy learnt the harsh way that you do not leave a potty-training toddler unattended. When he buggered off to work, life became a lot easier all of a sudden!

Today I've lengthened the intervals to, on average, 45 minutes between visiting the magic blue pot, although mid-morning he did manage well over an hour. I've also tried to stop helping him so much. I'm asking him if he needs to go, then asking him to sit on the potty and do a wee, then I give him reminders of what to do: pull your pants down, sit down, no don't flick them in the air over by the piano or you won't be able to put them back on again after, wipe, pull your pants up, tuck your willy in, what a clever boy now wash your hands. It's tiring and relentless, but it's starting to pay off and he's getting there by himself. Earlier I asked him to go to the potty and he walked over and toileted himself: I was so proud of him!

He's just woken up from a mammoth nap, well over two and a half hours, and his nappy was quite dry! Then he held his bladder until he went on the potty three minutes later. Hoorah, small steps but I think we might be getting there.

Last night I started reading Gina Ford's Potty Training in a Week, which I know bearing in mind I'm halfway through the week is a bit late, but what the hey? Some of it I didn't get, like for example; day 1 you put them on the potty every 15 minutes and get them to sit there for 5-10 minutes. Quite frankly, that's ridiculous! If The Boy hasn't gone within 15 seconds, he ain't going to go. I really don't think they should be encourage to just sit there until they go; that's catching not training! On day 2 you should go from reminding him to go to asking him, which makes sense, but I'd say we did that yesterday on day 3. On day 3, Gina says you should leave the house for a short visit to a nearby friend's house. WHAT? Are you mental woman?

Then we come to days 4-7 where apparently your child is trained. Um… what? When did that happen? The advice that you should move the potty closer to the bathroom makes sense, but as hubby pointed out in our house that's moving it up the steps one at a time and we're not sure of the safety of him weeing on the stairs. Apparently by the end of the first week, the potty should be in the bathroom and your toddler will be dry for several hours. Is she having a laugh?

Anyway, the one thing in the book that I did think was useful was the following ten signs of your toddler being ready to potty-train:

  1. He is over 18 months old.
  2. His nappy is frequently dry when you get him up from daytime naps. A dry nappy a couple of hours since his last nappy change would also be an indication that he is getting some bladder control.
  3. He is aware when he is doing a poo, i.e. going very quiet and showing signs of concentration, or points to his nappy and says poo or pee pee when he has done one.
  4. He can understand and follow simple instructions, i.e. go and fetch your red ball or put your toy in the box.
  5. He is eager to participate in taking of his own clothes, i.e. shoes, socks and shorts, and understands what pulling his shorts up and down mean.
  6. Can point to the different parts of his body when you name them, for example "where's your tummy button?" or "where's your nose?" etc.
  7. He has the ability to sit still and occupy himself or concentrate for five to ten minutes with a toy, book or watching a video.

Oh, that's seven not ten. There you go proof if ever was needed that I am losing it.

In about five minutes time my husband is going to be walking through the door and I will be pushing him out the way to see the outside world! I've not been out of this house, apart from to the washing line, since Friday evening and I am going stir-crazy. The Boy has benefitted from this focused potty-training but I'm going mental! I will be getting one of each of the following items:

and

Wee Will Get There!

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Yes, it's another potty training post.

Yesterday we lengthened the time between potty-pit-stops to 20-25 minutes and it went well. We had three little accidents but each time he knew what he was doing, said "I doing a wee-wee" and then sat himself down on the potty! We were over the moon, surely that's progress?

Later in the afternoon we had the event that we were crapping ourselves about, because we were hoping that he wouldn't! Turns out daddy caught him just in time as he started to squat, and then I heard a measured, but slightly frantic bellow. I rushed in with nappy-sacks and toilet wipes and rescued both of them. What was amazing for both of us was the curiosity on The Boy's face. This is where I realised why emptying the nappy out down the toilet in front of The Boy might have been useful, because I don't think he's ever seen his own nappy contents before!

So today was day three of the wee-wee fest! We lengthened it to 30 minute intervals and there were times when he went 45 minutes in between pit-stops. Once he even went over an hour! There was only minor accident when he started to spot, he looked down, Grandad asked him if he needed the potty and he took himself over to it. I was so impressed with him, such a big boy. Then mid-afternoon, it happened; the bit I'd been dreading and because I had taken my eyes off him for one minute I missed it. I managed to catch him halfway through a deposit and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! Bless his heart, he even said to me "Mummy, please change my pants?"

Tomorrow we're going for a scheduled 40 minutes and I will be asking him a lot more rather than just sitting him on it.

Wish me luck!

If it's not me, or her, or her, that means it could be you!

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I know that sounds like one of those jokes doesn't it? Those awful jokes? One in four people are something or other. However, in this case it's not a joke. It's real-life.

1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in their lives.

Bit of a shocker isn't it? 1 in 4! I would never have anticipated it to be as high as that, but unfortunately it is.

I'm not about to confess here that I have been the victim of domestic violence, because I haven't: I'm lucky. I've witnessed it, and I've seen the aftermath. I've seen the woman scared, petrified for her children above herself. I've felt her fear, and on her behalf, I've felt the felt the fury and anger that this is happening to her.

Together Refuge and Avon are working to help raise awareness of this massive problem in our society.

Domestic violence is not about a row going wrong or someone losing control.

Domestic violence is all about control. Domestic violence is the repeated, deliberate use of control by one partner over another. It's bullying, plain and simple. We teach the children in school that bullying is deliberate and repeated. Domestic violence is the same thing. It's done for power, to make the perpetrator feel better about themselves.

I belong to a toddler group which focuses on raising money for playgroups etc. in the area. Last year it was our tenth anniversary and we gave a larger grant than we've ever given before, to the county's women's refuge. The manager of the centre came out to talk to us about life for the residents. We sat in the host's plushy sitting room with our Pinot Grigio's sparkling with the condensation from the balmy summer's evening. Very soon, the glasses weren't the only things chilled as we heard censored and edited versions of these women's stories.

Domestic abuse can be physical, emotional, financial or sexual.

I know that the Refuge & Avon campaign to raise awareness centres on domestic violence, but I just wanted to highlight that not every victim is a literal punchbag, some are emotional ones.

One resident of the centre at the time was a middle-class SAHM to two teenage daughters in private single-sex schools. A nice life on the surface, however, the husband had CCTV in every room in the house so he could see what his recluse wife was constantly up to. And a chauffeur collected the daughters from the deliberately chosen school so as to prevent any dalliances with friends. They were prisoners. It was emotional and financial abuse. It was deliberate and it was repetitive.

One day, the wife walked out of the house and turned up at the office of the refuge centre. Arranging for her and her daughters to turn up later, she collected them from school and never went home. She was lucky that she had a place there. Other women in need may have to be taken to refuges over 80 miles from their hometown to find somewhere that has a space.

Here are some rather startling statistics about domestic violence:

  • One woman in four will experience domestic violence at some point in her life.
  • Up to two women are killed by current or former partners every week in England and Wales.
  • Every single day in the UK, 30 women attempt suicide as a result of domestic violence.
  • The police receive a domestic violence call every minute in the UK.
  • In 90% of domestic violence incidents in family households children are in the same or the next room. 50% of those children are directly abused.
  • Only 16% of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police – the majority of women suffer in silence.

Do you know what stands out from that list: Only 16% of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police but they only receive one call every minute.

Brings it home how frequent it is, doesn't it?

One last thought to leave you with. This one things sticks in my mind from our enlightening evening a year ago.

Most acts of domestic violence occur after a sporting match.

I can no longer bear to watch sports on television, or hear the encouragement coming through windows in the neighbourhood because I know what is going to happen at the end of the programme.

For more information please visit 1in4women.com, or their Facebook page.

I was asked to blog about this but I was not paid for it, nor would I have accepted any payment. Facts and statistics have come from www.1in4women.com

Wee-Wee Watch!

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After putting it off from the original start day of Thursday due to a stressful last week or so, today was PT Day. That's right Potty Training Day!

As hubby was around today, I decided that there was safety in numbers and that we were going to go for it! It's one of the things on my 'Things to do this Summer' list, so I have to crack on. I want to potty-train my child, not have my mum do it when I'm back in work. Those words might come back to haunt me if he doesn't settle down to it soon. I can see me on the first day of school passing over three potties, 40 pants and The Boy and begging her to do it! No, I mustn't concede defeat so quickly!

I downloaded a couple of apps for the iPod, as I thought it might help to have a way of recording the times he went in order to create a prediction chart. Surely that's fairly simple? Apparently not. Out of the three that I downloaded (Huggies Potty Trainer, I Love Potty and Potty Predict) none of them did what I wanted them to do. I Love Potty only allows your child to record 8 visits and an additional 4 deposits. Yeah right! Huggies Potty Trainer will allow you to set a reminder for every 30 minutes to tell the child to 'go' but no smaller an interval of time. It also allows the parent to record if the child went, tried or didn't attempt, but not if they had an accident! Potty Predict appears to be quite good as it allows you to record drinks, successes and accidents, but doesn't reset to the main menu easily. We ended up with a hand-drawn chart to record times, successes and accidents.

The day went quite well I think; 3 accidents and 24 successes. The first accident happened after the first hour when he was concentrating on television and didn't even realise what was happening. The second was about an hour later and he didn't know he needed to go, the third was 20 minutes after dinner and hubby had lost track of time so forgot to ask him if he needed to go. The progress was interesting, first one he was completely oblivious and looked at his wet pants in bemusement; by the third he actually watched it happen a little shocked. He's starting to realise that he's wetting. Next step is prevention!

I know 24 successes sound like a lot, but we were sitting him on the potty every 15 minutes or so because at the moment any longer and he has an accident.

We've also not left his tippy cup out for him to have ready access to which I'd read somewhere else, he had a big drink at specific times and then went on the potty 15-20 minutes later.

What will Day Two bring? Hopefully less accidents, but a deposit is on the cards. Yuck!

This blog has some great tips.

The Magic Man

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When I was growing up, during the summer months, we would be host-families for European students. As a family with four children in it, it was an easy income for my mum and, as we couldn't afford to go abroad, a great experience to meet teenagers from Italy, Spain, France, Romania, Germany, Holland, Norway, and sometimes Japan too! At one point we nick-named ourselves United Nations!

After a few years, we progressed to hosting the teachers on these trips and one year we had a gentle, German giant come to stay with us. He was actually training to be a high-school teacher and this was good experience for him. Now he was at the time, only a few years older than me and a real laugh so I will admit to temporarily developing a small crush on him. This quickly dissipated when he lived with us for his gap year overseas as part of his studies. Nothing can put you off a man quicker than living with him.

The summer after he stayed with us for a year, he returned to stay with us for the usual three weeks of the summer and it coincided with my birthday. We had a barbecue to celebrate with my friends and he did what he does best: MAGIC!

This was well over 10 years ago and, although mum stopped having foreign students soon after, we have remained in contact. Every Summer he returns to now lead the trips with his students and even though they stay over 50 miles away, he always comes and has a meal with the entire family. From the first time he stayed with us, he has seen our family grow to include two husbands and three little ones. He has settled down and got married a few years ago.

His magic has developed, he now does shows for children and is really good at it. Last year, my nephew was captivated by his magic, and has spent the entire year declaring that if something is broken we must call 'The Magic Man' to fix it!

Last Monday, The Magic Man visited for the evening again. This year to my mum and dad's new house. With him on the coach he had brought three suitcases: one for his clothes, two of his magic tricks. He treated us to a brilliant magic show which lasted an hour! In the end, I had to stop him as I had no more space on the Flip Cam! As usual, he had us all captivated, and while I know how he does a few of the tricks because he has either shown me or practised them with me, there were some that are a complete mystery to all of us!

Unfortunately, this may well be the last year that we see him for a few years. Happily for him and his wife, they are having their first child and he probably won't do the trips again for some time. We may be able to visit him in Germany in the future, but for the meantime we'll have to stick with e-mails, texts and Facebook! It's lovely to see how we have grown up together and created our own families now.

I'd like to leave you with an extract of the magic show so you can appreciate The Magic Man.

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