Tales of the unexpected with The Boy, my pride and joy.
The Boy has been slow to learn how to deal with stairs. He crawls up and down them, he can walk up them holding onto our hands but not independently. Coming down them is a big area for development; he hasn't worked out how to bend his knee and lower himself. Today we went to the park and this was big progress for him! Even if he did want to take two steps at the same time!
The lovely Sabina at DeepInMummyMatters contacted me to ask if I would like to host a post for her. Not only was I incredibly honoured, but the content is quite relevant for me as a teacher. I hope that you'll be able to come up with some suggestions to help her.
Where are we going wrong?
Do you ever get the feeling that you’re failing as a parent? On the whole I’ve always thought that me and Hubby make pretty good parents, we give our children lots of love and attention, we play with them, we make sure that at weekends we always do something which is specifically for the children (e.g. swimming, play centre or a walk in the park). We try to always be there to listen if they need to talk and we try our hardest to spread our time fairly amongst the children but over recent months/years with Curly and weeks with Little Bean I’m starting to question whether we really are doing a good job or not. This post is in relation to Curly . . .
Curly is 9 years old and my husband’s son from his first marriage. Hubby and Curly’s Mum split up shortly before Curly’s 2nd birthday. When Curly was about 30 months I began a relationship with his dad and his mum began a relationship with her now husband. Initially we all thought that Curly had coped very well with the breakup, in each of the relationships his mum and dad introduced their respective partner’s to him gradually over time and he has always been very accepting of both of us. Everything seemed to be progressing with Curly nicely until his second year at primary school and since then it has got progressively worse.
I know every parent likes to think that their child is bright, but seriously Curly is a very bright little boy, he always comes out top of his class with results and has been moved into the higher capabilities group for maths but every year we get the same response from his teachers; he’s disruptive in class and hard to motivate. Oh we know that well enough ourselves. Trying to get him to do something for you is like trying to get blood out of a stone. We have tried all manner of reward charts, naughty steps etc but nothing works with him.
Last year at School, Hubby and Curly’s mum were asked to go into school to see the Headmaster because his teacher was saying that she could no longer cope with having him in her class, he was too disruptive. At the same time we were constantly being told by Curly that he was being bullied at school by a group of boys. This is where it gets difficult: when we spoke to the school about the bullying they said that it was just good old horseplay and Curly was being oversensitive, basically he needed to ‘man up’ a bit. We started taking him to kick-boxing classes to try to give him confidence and discipline but soon the teacher there was also saying that he was ‘away with the fairies’ and too disruptive in class, he was also starting to get very lippy. Then Curly decided he didn’t want to do kick-boxing anymore.
Yesterday, we had a new issue with him. When my MiL picked him up from school, he was stopped by his form teacher to say that he needed to have a meeting with Curly’s mum and dad because he wasn’t prepared to have him in his class anymore. He simply couldn’t handle his behaviour anymore and basically wasn’t prepared to either. After a little coaxing, Curly opened up to his nan and said that he wasn’t happy at school. He then proceeded to roll up his shirt sleeve and show his nan a bruise on his arm and said that was where his teacher had grabbed his arm in class and reprimanded him in front of his class mates!!! Now, he has been known to tell fibs before so it was drummed into him what a serious accusation this was to make and that he could ruin his teacher’s life if he was telling fibs again. He swore that we could ask his classmates as they all saw it happen.
This morning my husband and Curly’s mum attended the school for a meeting and it has been agreed that Curly should see an Educational Psychologist for assessment. They will also speak with Curly’s form teacher to ascertain his side of the story on what happened yesterday.
We were also told by his mum that she has been having an horrendous time with him over the last few weeks and his behaviour has been unmanageable, yet we have had no problems at all? His mum unfortunately has to work long hours and so he spends a lot of time at his nan and grandad’s house or upstairs in his bedroom whilst his stepdad cooks tea.
His maths teacher said that he has worked closely with Curly for the last few years and describes him as an ‘over-sensitive, very sad and lonely individual . . .’ which as a parent is heartbreaking to hear.
Photo credit: dascot.org
Hubby and I sat down with him last night and tried talking with him, within seconds he broke down into sobs and hid his face in his hands. He said that he didn’t want to talk but after a little bit of TLC he opened up and said that it was all school. He was fed up of being picked on and hated it in his class. Sadly for Curly he has suffered with warts on his hand for years and we have tried many treatments but to no avail. He said that the other children call him “Germy” and touch him then wipe their hands on others saying they have got his germs now. Other than that they shorten his surname into a nickname (which isn’t bad at all – for example, if he was Curly Brown they would call him Brownie) but he gets upset by this. We’ve explained that this is nothing to worry about but he doesn’t like it. If we go to a park and other children are playing he will get very upset if the other children don’t include him in their games and say that no-one likes him.
How do we help him with his self-esteem issues and can anyone recommend a good cure for warts????
One of the things that intrigues me about blogging is that you can never predict how posts are going to be received by the readers. Hours spent slaving over what you deem to be the wittiest or most emotional post in the world can result in five readers and no comments. While those five readers are of course valued, what on Earth made it so boring that no-one else wanted to read?
Then, of course, there are the posts that are received so warmly, the little line on the site statistics chart explodes stellar-ward! While it might have caused a chuckle typing it up using a smartphone application in the middle of the night sat in an uncomfortable Ikea bucket chair, surely it wasn't that funny? (Bizarrely, some of my best received posts are typed in that sorry excuse for a chair!)
This all got me thinking about posts. Which are the most popular? Which died a death? Which shouldn't have been written? I want to know your posts, and so I bring you…
Starting this Saturday I would like you to link up to a specific post that falls into the category I select. This week it is:
The Most Popular Post
By this, I mean the most views for a single post.
So you have your homework and three days to find that little gem! Repost it on Saturday, use the code for the above button (that I'll provide on my own post) and then pop back and link up.
Go on, Show Off, you know you want to!
The brief that was delivered to my inbox on Friday evening informed us that Tara has a mild obsession with a certain element of nature:
Anyway, to indulge me and my obsession, this week's theme is: Trees.
Simple as that. Trees near your home, from a holiday, new trees, ancient trees. Trees you used to climb as a child, trees you picnic under. Trees.
My first thought was of a very special tree to me, and to The Boy.
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His room is quite small and therefore needed something special doing to it. I had always wanted a room for my child that would be a place that was individual. Somewhere to spark their imagination and provide them with play opportunities. Somewhere to send them off on that soft white cloud to the land of nod with pleasant dreams.
We decorated his room on the Easter Bank Holiday 2009 and each single leaf that I painted was detailed with overwhelming love and attention for my unborn child.
Continuing my theme of flying the Welsh flag (Manic Street Preachers a few weeks ago, it'll be Catatonia, Duffy and Martin Joseph next!) I am choosing one of my favourite 'Cool Cymru' bands to listen to. They are especially good on a sunny Spring or Summer day, with the windows down and when everything is right with the world!
The Stereophonics really remind me of being in university and discovering my identity as a young adult. I did my teaching degree in Newport and there were quite a few people either from Cwmamon (the 'Phonics home-town) or a nearby village. There was a real sense of local pride in the local boys that were 'doing good'.
The music that they released in their first few albums is my preference, although I'm partial to any of it; I adore Kelly Jones' husky and soulful voice. What was surprising about their debut album, Word Gets Around, was that although it instantly charted at number six, the three main songs from it that are now probably some of their most famous failed to reach the top twenty in the charts: Local Boy in the Photograph, More Life in a Tramps Vest and A Thousand Trees. The 'Phonics became more popular and successful in the charts with the release of Performance and Cocktails, and its raucous The Bartender and the Thief. As far as I am aware, their only number one has been 2005's Dakota.
I've seen them in a number of venues, the last time was in Cardiff, and I'll confess to thinking that Kelly Jones looked like he'd sold out. We didn't stay for the encore, both feeling a little disappointed. I've wiped it from my mind really, preferring to remember them in their prime of the early 2000s.
On that note, I shall leave you with my personal favourite:
He was determined to stick them all on his tummy, which he did!
I’ve recently been sent the game ‘Red Dog, Blue Dog’ by Orchard Toys to review with The Boy. The game is a first colour match lotto aimed at 2-4 players and children from 2-5 years and priced at £9.25.
When he first saw the box, The Boy was extremely excited and eager to ‘ope’-n it up, he then spent ten – fifteen minutes examining the four different lotto boards, identifying the pictures on them, and then popping out the lotto cards from the punched-out templates. He took a shine straight away to the card with the blue spider on it, and spent much of the remaining morning carrying it around clutched in his hand!
We’ve brought the game away with us on our mini-holiday as I decided that far from the madding crowd would be a good place to help us concentrate and test the game out. The players comprised of mummy, daddy and The Boy, with Oliver Monkey refereeing to ensure fair play.
We haven’t played the game strictly according to the rules as the game is aimed at 2-5 years and The Boy is only 21 months; he doesn’t completely understand the concept of taking turns. However, this shows the adaptability of the game.
We started by sorting the cards into colours, he was able to help us do this quite easily and it was quite reassuring that he could do this as he hasn’t always put the right name to a colour, but in doing this he showed us that he was aware that they were separate and that he could sort. I chose to do this because there are six different coloured objects on each board, but there are not six colours of each object (as there are only four boards).
Next we took it in turns to choose an object from the board for him to find; I am extremely pleased that whether we were asking him to find a blue spider or a red spider, he was able to identify the colours. So even though he can’t remember the names at the time, he does know what the colours are. Playing this game will help consolidate his knowledge of colours. He thoroughly enjoyed finding the game, and I could see his eyes flitting between the cards as he was trying to identify the card he needed.
My husband and I were discussing other uses of the game afterwards, and I suggested that we could use the cards to play ‘Pairs’ or as a colour sorting game. As both a parent, qualified nursery nurse and primary school teacher, I think that this is an extremely adaptable and suitable game for toddlers and infants. A feature that I like on the box is the Orchard Toys’ Educational Guide, which suggests:
I would agree with those educational outcomes but also feel that it will help to develop children’s pre-mathematical and reading skills (identification of shapes and colours, plus the objects’ names are written on the cards).
Definitely a winner in this household!
Tidying up is part of the game!
To be in with a chance to win your own copy of 'Red Dog, Blue Dog' either follow Orchard Toys on twitter (@OrchardToys) or 'Like' their Facebook page
Extra entries are available through:
– tweeting the following: I want to win an @OrchardToys 'Red Dog, Blue Dog' with @TheBoyandMe https://www.theboyandme.co.uk/?p=1197
– following me on twitter (@TheBoyandMe)
– subscribing to my blog.
Don’t forget to tell me what you’ve done, or you’ll only receive one entry!
Competition ends Thursday 31st March 2011 at 8pm.
Open to UK residents only.
Winners will need to reply to my notification e-mail by 8pm on Saturday 2nd April 2011, or I will draw another winner.
The winner of the competition is Jenny Paulin. Congratulations Jenny, a new baby last night and now an Orchard Toys game for new baby's older brother to play with!
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While I received this game free of charge to provide an honest review, I have not been offered any other reward for my opinion.
In honour of Lent and in remembrance of all those times as a child that she gave up sweets for the 40 days, KateTakes5 has bestowed upon the Listography this week the theme of Retro Sweets.
I didn't eat that many sweets as a primary school child, mainly because my mum wouldn't buy them and I wasn't allowed to walk down to the town (I had no road sense until about 13) therefore sneakily buying some. It wasn't until I was in secondary school in Cardiff that I used to partake of this childhood ritual. My friend and I would disembark the bus, walk over to the newsagents who would patiently count out our 13p's worth of sweets (or whatever was left over from out lunch money).
I still adore penny sweets but hardly have them anymore; I like jelly and foam sweets, hubby likes fizzy ones which for me are a 'no-no'. Therefore I am casting my mind back in fondness to the following favourites:
