The Gallery: Black & White

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The lovely Tara has set us a challenge this week of 'Black and White'.

In my mind straight away popped two photos that I wanted to share for this post and I can't find them now! They're stunning photos as well, one is of my nan when she was approximately twenty years old and was a formal studio photo. She looked so young and happy in it, anticipating the joy of her entire life. The other photo was of my bampi in his army uniform in Africa, he was in the Desert Rats. A few years ago I had the small snapshots blown up and edited to remove the creases, then framed for my mum. The minute she opened them, she did something that I've never seen before, she cried with nostalgia and affection for the parents who died years before.

Unfortunately they are still packed up from her move so I can't even scan them in to show you.

In the meantime I want to share a selection of other gems from the past. They're photos of my mum, my dad and his brother, my brothers, my nan and her sister. All show the simplicity of black and white, the innocence of youth.

Wait! I've found them, so apologies for editing this post to add them both in but they are the ones I originally wanted to show.

Both were taken in the Winter of 1943 while bampi was serving in the Desert Rats. Bampi was 26 and already looks like life serving in World War 2 has taken its toll. Nan was just 21 and still fresh-faced. They married six months after these photos were taken and a year later my mum was born (their only child as my nan suffered a still-birth at 8 months pregnant).

1923 – 1994

1917 – 1980.

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Day Four in the Potty-Training House…

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… and I'm going slightly mad! When hubby comes home from work, I will be like the flash to get in the car and out to Starbucks. Even The Boy recognises my need to freedom, "We go Starbooks mummy. You need a caramel coffee frappucino. I need one too!" See? Potty-training is hard on everyone.

So far today, I have come downstairs for breakfast to the sound of "it's ok, daddy get the wipes STAND STILL!", which I looked at and walked away from. Nowt in my stomach means I can't deal with poo first thing. Daddy learnt the harsh way that you do not leave a potty-training toddler unattended. When he buggered off to work, life became a lot easier all of a sudden!

Today I've lengthened the intervals to, on average, 45 minutes between visiting the magic blue pot, although mid-morning he did manage well over an hour. I've also tried to stop helping him so much. I'm asking him if he needs to go, then asking him to sit on the potty and do a wee, then I give him reminders of what to do: pull your pants down, sit down, no don't flick them in the air over by the piano or you won't be able to put them back on again after, wipe, pull your pants up, tuck your willy in, what a clever boy now wash your hands. It's tiring and relentless, but it's starting to pay off and he's getting there by himself. Earlier I asked him to go to the potty and he walked over and toileted himself: I was so proud of him!

He's just woken up from a mammoth nap, well over two and a half hours, and his nappy was quite dry! Then he held his bladder until he went on the potty three minutes later. Hoorah, small steps but I think we might be getting there.

Last night I started reading Gina Ford's Potty Training in a Week, which I know bearing in mind I'm halfway through the week is a bit late, but what the hey? Some of it I didn't get, like for example; day 1 you put them on the potty every 15 minutes and get them to sit there for 5-10 minutes. Quite frankly, that's ridiculous! If The Boy hasn't gone within 15 seconds, he ain't going to go. I really don't think they should be encourage to just sit there until they go; that's catching not training! On day 2 you should go from reminding him to go to asking him, which makes sense, but I'd say we did that yesterday on day 3. On day 3, Gina says you should leave the house for a short visit to a nearby friend's house. WHAT? Are you mental woman?

Then we come to days 4-7 where apparently your child is trained. Um… what? When did that happen? The advice that you should move the potty closer to the bathroom makes sense, but as hubby pointed out in our house that's moving it up the steps one at a time and we're not sure of the safety of him weeing on the stairs. Apparently by the end of the first week, the potty should be in the bathroom and your toddler will be dry for several hours. Is she having a laugh?

Anyway, the one thing in the book that I did think was useful was the following ten signs of your toddler being ready to potty-train:

  1. He is over 18 months old.
  2. His nappy is frequently dry when you get him up from daytime naps. A dry nappy a couple of hours since his last nappy change would also be an indication that he is getting some bladder control.
  3. He is aware when he is doing a poo, i.e. going very quiet and showing signs of concentration, or points to his nappy and says poo or pee pee when he has done one.
  4. He can understand and follow simple instructions, i.e. go and fetch your red ball or put your toy in the box.
  5. He is eager to participate in taking of his own clothes, i.e. shoes, socks and shorts, and understands what pulling his shorts up and down mean.
  6. Can point to the different parts of his body when you name them, for example "where's your tummy button?" or "where's your nose?" etc.
  7. He has the ability to sit still and occupy himself or concentrate for five to ten minutes with a toy, book or watching a video.

Oh, that's seven not ten. There you go proof if ever was needed that I am losing it.

In about five minutes time my husband is going to be walking through the door and I will be pushing him out the way to see the outside world! I've not been out of this house, apart from to the washing line, since Friday evening and I am going stir-crazy. The Boy has benefitted from this focused potty-training but I'm going mental! I will be getting one of each of the following items:

and

Wee Will Get There!

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Yes, it's another potty training post.

Yesterday we lengthened the time between potty-pit-stops to 20-25 minutes and it went well. We had three little accidents but each time he knew what he was doing, said "I doing a wee-wee" and then sat himself down on the potty! We were over the moon, surely that's progress?

Later in the afternoon we had the event that we were crapping ourselves about, because we were hoping that he wouldn't! Turns out daddy caught him just in time as he started to squat, and then I heard a measured, but slightly frantic bellow. I rushed in with nappy-sacks and toilet wipes and rescued both of them. What was amazing for both of us was the curiosity on The Boy's face. This is where I realised why emptying the nappy out down the toilet in front of The Boy might have been useful, because I don't think he's ever seen his own nappy contents before!

So today was day three of the wee-wee fest! We lengthened it to 30 minute intervals and there were times when he went 45 minutes in between pit-stops. Once he even went over an hour! There was only minor accident when he started to spot, he looked down, Grandad asked him if he needed the potty and he took himself over to it. I was so impressed with him, such a big boy. Then mid-afternoon, it happened; the bit I'd been dreading and because I had taken my eyes off him for one minute I missed it. I managed to catch him halfway through a deposit and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be! Bless his heart, he even said to me "Mummy, please change my pants?"

Tomorrow we're going for a scheduled 40 minutes and I will be asking him a lot more rather than just sitting him on it.

Wish me luck!

If it's not me, or her, or her, that means it could be you!

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I know that sounds like one of those jokes doesn't it? Those awful jokes? One in four people are something or other. However, in this case it's not a joke. It's real-life.

1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence in their lives.

Bit of a shocker isn't it? 1 in 4! I would never have anticipated it to be as high as that, but unfortunately it is.

I'm not about to confess here that I have been the victim of domestic violence, because I haven't: I'm lucky. I've witnessed it, and I've seen the aftermath. I've seen the woman scared, petrified for her children above herself. I've felt her fear, and on her behalf, I've felt the felt the fury and anger that this is happening to her.

Together Refuge and Avon are working to help raise awareness of this massive problem in our society.

Domestic violence is not about a row going wrong or someone losing control.

Domestic violence is all about control. Domestic violence is the repeated, deliberate use of control by one partner over another. It's bullying, plain and simple. We teach the children in school that bullying is deliberate and repeated. Domestic violence is the same thing. It's done for power, to make the perpetrator feel better about themselves.

I belong to a toddler group which focuses on raising money for playgroups etc. in the area. Last year it was our tenth anniversary and we gave a larger grant than we've ever given before, to the county's women's refuge. The manager of the centre came out to talk to us about life for the residents. We sat in the host's plushy sitting room with our Pinot Grigio's sparkling with the condensation from the balmy summer's evening. Very soon, the glasses weren't the only things chilled as we heard censored and edited versions of these women's stories.

Domestic abuse can be physical, emotional, financial or sexual.

I know that the Refuge & Avon campaign to raise awareness centres on domestic violence, but I just wanted to highlight that not every victim is a literal punchbag, some are emotional ones.

One resident of the centre at the time was a middle-class SAHM to two teenage daughters in private single-sex schools. A nice life on the surface, however, the husband had CCTV in every room in the house so he could see what his recluse wife was constantly up to. And a chauffeur collected the daughters from the deliberately chosen school so as to prevent any dalliances with friends. They were prisoners. It was emotional and financial abuse. It was deliberate and it was repetitive.

One day, the wife walked out of the house and turned up at the office of the refuge centre. Arranging for her and her daughters to turn up later, she collected them from school and never went home. She was lucky that she had a place there. Other women in need may have to be taken to refuges over 80 miles from their hometown to find somewhere that has a space.

Here are some rather startling statistics about domestic violence:

  • One woman in four will experience domestic violence at some point in her life.
  • Up to two women are killed by current or former partners every week in England and Wales.
  • Every single day in the UK, 30 women attempt suicide as a result of domestic violence.
  • The police receive a domestic violence call every minute in the UK.
  • In 90% of domestic violence incidents in family households children are in the same or the next room. 50% of those children are directly abused.
  • Only 16% of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police – the majority of women suffer in silence.

Do you know what stands out from that list: Only 16% of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police but they only receive one call every minute.

Brings it home how frequent it is, doesn't it?

One last thought to leave you with. This one things sticks in my mind from our enlightening evening a year ago.

Most acts of domestic violence occur after a sporting match.

I can no longer bear to watch sports on television, or hear the encouragement coming through windows in the neighbourhood because I know what is going to happen at the end of the programme.

For more information please visit 1in4women.com, or their Facebook page.

I was asked to blog about this but I was not paid for it, nor would I have accepted any payment. Facts and statistics have come from www.1in4women.com

Night-Night Kisses

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We've always had quite a strict bedtime routine. Not in the dictatorial, no fun sense of the word, but without sway or deviance from the procedure. Bath, bottle, teeth and book, before lights out and mobile on. (We'll ignore the fact that he still doesn't go to sleep by himself yet, just shhhh!)

We have our little sillinesses; for example, I kiss daddy, Oliver Monkey and then The Boy night before declaring "What more kisses? You greedy little monkey!", cupping The Boy's face and smothering him in tiny little kisses all over. He then giggles and when I'm at the door, Oliver Monkey waves 'goodnight' to me.

I think a bedtime routine is important, but I also think that fun and happiness is just as necessary as I don't want my little boy being sent off to dream-land on an unhappy cloud! Which is why when ToyJeanius asked me to review Djeco's bedtime game Night-Night Kisses I was more than happy to oblige.Night-Night Kisses (or Bisous Dodo to give it its proper name) is a lovely little game by Djeco, designed to play just before bedtime to encourage your child to feel loved and happy. The above box has a slide-out drawer that is used as the 'bed' for either of the adorable little characters that are 'put to bed' during the game. There is a little boy or a little girl, on one side they are awake and on the other their eyes are firmly closed as they've drifted off to sleep.

For hubby, the time when he comes in from work up until when The Boy drifts off to the land of nod, is precious. He always does bedtime, with the exception of a Wednesday and Thursday (when I work all day so also want some time with The Boy), and he loves spending that time with him. Night-Night Kisses gives him the ideal opportunity to spend some quality time with The Boy before we start the bath etc. routine.

The game involves laying the bed out and placing the boy (not The Boy to avoid confusion!) on top of the soft blue mattress. The cards are then placed face down and little one lifts them up in turn to reveal what's on the card. Some of the cards represent items, for example a sheet or a pillow, and these you lay under the boy's head or over his legs. The remaining cards represent actions such as tickles, cuddles and kisses. As each card is selected the parent must do that action to your child. When the game is finished, you turn the little boy over (again not The Boy, he's not a doll) so his eyes are closed and off he goes to sleep. If only all children obliged so easily, hey?

The Boy really liked the game; he and daddy had great fun playing it. It does require the adult to read the instructions first as there are a few different cards and you need to know what they represent. The feather and music cards are obvious, but there's also a 'kiss' card which means you have to kiss your little one wherever the heart features on the card. There are also birdy and butterfly kisses which can be bestowed upon your precious bundle, much merriment happens as a result of this; we're fond of butterfly kisses in this house!

As this game is aimed at 3-6 year olds, and The Boy is only just two, we adapted it slightly. For example there are 32 cards, but we only had out one of each choice otherwise we'd have never got him into bed! When they are a little older, then the game is designed to take ten minutes and they will also be able to remember what all the different cards mean.
This is a lovely game to play with your precious bundles of joy and happiness before bedtime; they will end up feeling so loved from all the kisses and hugs.
Night-Night Kisses is available to purchase from ToyJeanius for £11.45. Readers of this blog can use a special discount code of 'TheBoyandMe' to get 10% off this and any other purchase.


I'm a Toyjeanius toy genius

LeapFrog LeapTop

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Last Christmas I bought The Boy a little 'laptop' from Early Learning Centre. At the time he wasn't really interested in it and it took him a few months to start playing with it. I think part of the problem was that it didn't look enough like mine (because he still kept trying to jab my keys mid blog-post!) and that really it had a handful of buttons that had limited functionality. I bought it on an impulse a few days before Christmas day and wish I'd thought it through.

Because for the same amount of money, I could have had this:

The LeapFrog LeapTop

It just looks better doesn't it? It appears to be more like a laptop with the keyboard and the little mouse on the side. The Boy is completely and utterly won over by it and for the first week after it arrived for review, he would come down for breakfast in the morning and demand to know where his laptop was before he would do anything else.

Prior to giving it to The Boy, it required some initial setup connected to my laptop and the Internet. There is an easily accessible USB port on the side of the screen (potentially this could have been located under the battery compartment cover as in the Tag Junior, as The Boy keeps trying to play with it). I easily downloaded the software from the LeapFrog website, picked The Boy's name from the list, and chose from the selection of 'e-mails' that are uploaded to the laptop to be read out by Scout. I was then also able to choose the classical music that I wanted played on the laptop, along with instrumental versions of nursery rhymes. This setup took approximately five-ten minutes and was easy to do. The LeapTop can be connected to the laptop to chart his 'progress' and this can be e-mailed to family members; ideal for grandparents, etc.

The Boy adores the personalised e-mails. The first time that he heard them, his eyes lit up with wonder and excitement and he started talking back to Scout. There are a few additional e-mails that are programmed in from the green dog himself (giving eight in total) and they help add to the variety. He's also very fond of the 'new blog entry' button. When I discovered that option I roared with laughter! I love that LeapFrog are ahead of the game here in recognising the importance and power of blogging. Whereas The Boy just likes to hear that Scout has been to the beach and made a sandcastle!

As the e-mails are read out, the text is displayed on the screen and The Boy chuckles at the pictures that come up alongside the blog entries. The screen is quite small in comparison to the surround which in the wrong light can make it difficult to see. However, The Boy pays a great deal of attention to the pictures that are displayed and absolutely adores the images of Scout dancing in the music section.

The 'mouse' on the side is a sliding button which switches between three modes for the keyboard: learning about animals and the sounds they make, the alphabet and phonics, and musical mode:

  • In animals mode (my favourite) when you press a letter it asks you a question about that animal which then is named. If you don't know, press the 'paw' button and it tells you the answer. We both like that game.
  • The musical game is a little basic or not suited to him at the moment (aged just 2); the first two rows are funny sounds, the bottom row is musical notes.
  • The 'abc' game involves pressing the letter, hearing the phoneme, then the letter name and an example word. As a teacher, I like that game a lot, although it's a tad too tricky for The Boy at the moment.

Why is the LeapFrog LeapTop so good?

  • The Boy thinks it's a proper laptop and leaves mine alone!
  • There are so many different games on it that it holds his attention for a good period of time
  • The games are a mix of educational and fun
  • Easily set up and personalised
  • The personalisation helps to make it more appealing to little ones
  • Good value for money
  • It uses British accents in 90% of the programming (I think that there must have been an error somewhere along the line as it states on the box that it uses British voices but on a few of the e-mails or blog entries, Scout's voice switched over to an American accent and then back to a British one).

Overall I think that this is the best little laptop around in this price bracket (£20) and will continue to aid The Boy's development for another year or two yet, supplementing and supporting his formal learning in the Foundation Phase.

This was provided as part of the Toys R Us Toyology review programme. However, our opinions are as always honest and fair.