6 sticks later…

Reading MammyWoo's hilarious tale of 'How it all began' earlier, and almost waking The Boy up as I shook with laughter, has prompted me to share my own 'finding out I was pregnant' story.

Early in the September term in 2008 on a Friday afternoon, my friend asked me if (quite frankly) my boobs were still sore. I replied that they were but that it was probably PMT. She asked me if I was still late, I replied that it was September in school, of course I was. She looked me in the eye and said very seriously, "Chick, I really think you need to do a pregnancy test when you get home!" In that moment, it actually clicked in my head but I truly didn't think that I was pregnant.

I rushed over to Boots (not my local branch, too many people know me) and stood gawping at the selection in front of me. I mean, for God's sake, how many different ways are there of peeing on a stick and telling someone if they're pregnant or not? I picked up the own-brand one because they seemed middle of the road in price (the first step in spending thousands of pounds on your child).

I got home and discovered that I didn't need the loo. I drank three glasses of water. I did starjumps in the kitchen. I drank another glass of water. I did squats. Then I rushed upstairs, read the instructions which said some nonsense about waiting 'til morning, and squeezed some out. It really didn't occur to me to wait for my husband because I wasn't pregnant and I didn't want to get his hopes up. Placing the stick carefully on the side of the bath without shaking it (why do they waive it around on television? It says to hold it steady!), I waited.

I knelt down on the bathroom floor in front of the bath and waited.

I am rubbish at waiting.

I watched the first mark came through (I actually can't remember if it's supposed to be a cross or a line) and my heart sank as the second mark started to come through; it was just a line. Up until that point I really hadn't even entertained the idea that I could be pregnant, but now it's all I wanted. The tears started to flow…

… and then: a CROSS! It was faint as hell, but it was a cross!

I'm not entirely sure I breathed for a few minutes, I just knelt there rocking backwards and forwards staring increduously at this rapidly darkening mark.

I bet you can guess what I did next. Yep, the second test in the box.

I wee-ed on it wrongly. For the love of God, I completely and utterly missed! They need to make these things bigger and longer so you don't end up weeing all over your hands.

Then I did quite possibly the most stupid thing ever; I phoned my husband who was driving home from work. The conversation went exactly like this (it's imprinted in both our memories):

Me: Can you call into Boots on the way home and pick up a twin-pack of Clear Blue digital pregnancy tests please?

Him: Why?

Me: Because I wee-ed wrongly on the second one and it didn't work.

Him: What about the first one?

Me: Oh yes, that one was positive!

Him: <silence, then> I'll be home as soon as I can!!!

Yes I know: he was driving, he could have had a crash. When he did get in, he raced up the stairs where I was still sat looking at the first test.

The third stick provided us with another positive conclusion: I'm rubbish at aiming when I wee!

The fourth stick was dipped into a pot that I'd decided to use instead (pregnant!)

Both the fifth and sixth sticks (he'd been despatched for more) came up with that oh so familiar affirmation: you are 2-3 weeks pregnant! The feeling is one that I have never come close to before or since: your life has just changed (for the better) forever.

We spent the entire weekend wanting to tell everyone (we're both rubbish at keeping secrets) and not telling anyone. However when I walked into the school grounds on Monday morning and saw my friend crossing between the two buildings I called to get her attention. She took one look at me and squealed with delight. She also completely roared with laughter that I'd done six tests.

Well come on, be honest: how many did you do?

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  1. Bumbling says

    Just the two.

    One in the loos at work. On my first day of being late… I couldn't wait, and I went straight for the expensive, digitial, using words not lines tests, because I couldn't bear to get it wrong. And then had to spend all afternoon trying to stop the grin from being all over my face, and panicking as to what moo's dad would say, as he had been convinced it would take for ever. And it didn't…

    Then one more when I got home to show the husband. You know, just in case…

    (And I used a pot. Much easier!)

    • TheBoyAndMe says

      We were lucky, it didn't take forever with us either. It was the first time I'd done a test and we'd been trying for only 2-3 months.

  2. Claire Howie says

    Lovely post!

    And I think I did four, both times. I bought the cheaper own brand tests then forked out for the clearblue digital that tells you how many weeks you are. Little did we know the rollercoaster that follows a positive result!

    • TheBoyAndMe says

      Unbelievable isn't it? And waiting until you're 12 weeks to tell people is a nightmare. I told my family when I was about 4 weeks because my nephew had slapped cheek at the time and I didn't want to risk anything by going near him.

  3. Claire Howie says

    I think I was 7 weeks this time before I found out. Conceived while breastfeeding so wasn't worried about no period until the sickness kicked in. Now 32 weeks!

  4. Mammywoo says

    Hahahaha snort! Hahaha seriously you cracked me up! Drinking all that water! Brilliant post Missis as usual! We said we wouldn't tell anybody but I was on the phone to my best mate as soon as je was out of earshot and when I looked he was on the phone whispering too! Useless! Thanks so much for linking me in
    Great post x

  5. says

    I'm a bit odd I think… I just did one! I know that feeling though of not wanting it then feeling disappointed when you think you are not.
    Great post, really made me smile πŸ™‚

    • TheBoyAndMe says

      Oh no, I think you've misunderstood! I *never* not wanted to be pregnant, I just really didn't want to hope that I was because it was all I had wanted for the past five years of my (then) seven year old marriage (now ten).

  6. Averagemummy says

    I did millions whilst trying, when I did my one that was my 1st positive I wasnt really looking, I didn't suspect anything at all, in fact I needed to NOT be pregnant to go get my ovaries blown up and dyed to find out why I couldn't get pregnant, so the positive was a shock! I asked OH to check it then insisted he go buy the most expensive test he could ad Tesco own brand just could not be right!!

    And yes I pissed on my hand many many times! Also the star jumps, I even once did a test standing in a shallow cold bath as I didn't need to wee! Xx

  7. says

    God I'm glad I'm not the only one that got through a whole load of tests! I bought mine off Ebay, in bulk! I started testing almost every day just a few days after we'd done the deed, until one morning, very very early, I got a faint (extremely faint) line, 4 days before my due date…in fact I stared at it that much I couldn't tell if it was a real line or my eyes were now seeing blue lines! So the next day I had to do another……but then they were all gone, so I bought a 'proper' one from Asda…and that was the same! Not sure why I was so surprised as it was planned (with the assistance of accurate ovulation tests) and not my first, so not sure why I was so nervous about telling my OH either, he'd heard it a few times before!!

    we're all crazy!!

  8. KatieB says

    Great post! Weeing on your hands is never great…..but brings back lots of memories. I nearly always bought tests when I went shopping & usually was dying for a pee that much I ended up with shopping strewn everywhere because I needed to find the test and didn't want to waste the opportunity…or the pee!!

    I'll admit I got a bit obsessive with pregnancy tests too, especially with little man, by then I'd already been pregnant 4 times but had m/c's so by the time I was pregnant with little man I did a couple at first but carried on doing them every few days just to make sure he was still there.

    Little miss was quite a shock though, little man was 6 months old and it suddenly dawned on me that I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a period, I wasn't overly concerned as they'd not long started again & hadn't been that regular but thought I'd check just to make sure I wasn't (was in the middle of doing my reflexology diploma & shouldn't have treatments if in early pregnancy). Got the bloody shock of my life when two very dark lines appeared before I'd even finished peeing! I couldn't have been more positively pregnant if I'd tried! I'll never forget that moment of sheer shock, I walked downstairs dumbstruck with the test in my hand just as hubs walked through the door. 'Whats up with you? You look really pale" he said, I just handed him the test. The look on his face was an absolute picture! And then I had to tell work before I'd even gone back I'd be taking maternity leave again!

  9. says

    Oh want to tell you my two silly stories now!

    Really lovely post and so glad you got your little blessing after such a long wait! I told my husband second time by phone as well and he was teaching!


  10. mary says


  11. says

    Aaaaaah brings back all the excitement of that time. When we were trying for our second I also bought those ovulation sticks – which proved useless as I apparently conceived when I wasn't even ovulating! In fact, none of the sticks ever said I was ovulating. That was a lot of peeing on my fingers for nothing πŸ˜‰


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