24 hours

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24 hours is a variable time. I know that seems daft, but just think about it. 24 hours of labour seems to last forever; every second punctuated by yet another contraction. Yet 24 hours on a weekend absolutely flies by!

When Tara set the challenge of  a theme of 24 Hours, it was going to take some careful planning otherwise we'd end up with some wasted hours of sleep (don't you think that sleep is a waste of time?). It had to be a day in your life: "Any day… share 24 hours of your life with us."

So my 24 hours spans from 6pm on Saturday evening to 7pm on Sunday evening. Yes I know that's 25 hours, but it's called artistic license and it's my blog! The start and end location is the same: my parents' house. In between we fit in a variety of activities, some will be obvious, some you'll have to work out. Either way, it was our weekend.

And we had, in the words of The Boy, fun.


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Things I'd Love This Valentine's Day

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The ever wise KateTakes5 has declared that love is in the air for this week's Listography. If it is, I'm opening the window and investing in some air freshener, can't be doing with any of that nonsense!

I've read various blogs recently about romance, partners and love. Prior to The Boy, not once did I realise how much relationships change when offspring arrive. My mother has always maintained that for the first year of their life, it's about them. After that, they fit into your family lifestyle and routine. I'd agree with that, but for the fact that I don't remember what our routine or lifestyle was like before the arrival of The Boy. I think there probably was a lot more romance, but that's easy when there's no bottles to wash up, toys to tidy and sleep is not broken by "mummy, daddy, up-py" at 3.37am. It's a bit hard to look adoringly into each other's eyes when The Boy pushes daddy away from mummy if we even contemplate a hug.

Nevertheless, this list is a wish list; I know hubby loves me, but we do not have the finances for it. Therefore:

1) A money tree

Go on, call me shallow. Those who say 'money doesn't buy happiness' have clearly been in the position to experience it! I am not asking for a ridiculous amount of money, but enough so that I don't have to work. Oh and possibly so we can have a porch and a conservatory. Thanks!

2) A Links of London bracelet

Isn't it pretty?! I've bought the imitation one from the chemist and it just looks nothing like it. Pitying glances have resulted in it being passed onto my niece for dress-up. Oh but a real one would be divine.

3) White chocolate truffles

Achievable and realistic. I'm quite fond of the Italian ones from Marks and Spencer, do they still make them? Otherwise they sell them in Thorntons. Who am I kidding? I'd be happy with the ones from Lidl.

4)  Another four hours in the day

I wouldn't need a personal assistant/ironing lady/cleaner/gardener if I had another four hours. Maybe five. I'd dedicated two of them to sleep and the other time could be used to sort out the towering inferno of paperwork resting on the recipe books in the kitchen. But then of course, that money tree would mean that I could give up work and have that time. Do they sell them in B&Q?

5) …

… no words, sigh!

Most Annoying Children’s T.V. Programmes

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KateTakes5 has come up with a very interesting topic this week. I was quite anal for the first year and didn't let The Boy watch any television, with the exception of the very occasional '3rd and Bird' episode. The box may have been on in the background with my daily fix of Phil and Holly, but no children's programmes. I know, cruel hey? I also didn't let him have any sugar, salt or processed food until 1yr old either. How times have changed…

I am rather controlling in what I let him watch. My fantastic mum looks after him while I'm working and I was getting a bit fed up of coming home, turning on the television and finding certain channels on. No I don't mean dodgy ones, I'm talking the American channels (I know that seems Xenophobic but it is not. My child is British, I want him to grow up with a British accent not one learnt from the Disney Channel). In my head is that advert from a few years ago: The Wombles with an American accent. Therefore having asked her not to have Cartoonito or the Disney channel on a million times, but still finding them in use I blocked them on sky+. Yes, I used the parental controls on my mother!

Basically this list is easy for me, anything that's not on CBeebies or BabyTV is pretty much a no-no. There are some decent programmes on Nick Jnr as well. Snob I know, but I may as well get my money's worth from my licence fee. However I can identify these programmes as irritating the hell out of me, and yes some of them are on my beloved CBeebies.

1) Barney. He is a big purple dinosaur. He looks nothing like a dinosaur and they weren't purple. I don't care that he teaches the children about being kind and sharing, he's a purple dinosaur! The child actors on it are sickly sweet and schmaltzy and they do my head in. No! Not in this household.

2)  LazyTown. The rubber masks are slightly alarming aren't they? They look like the Dead Presidents about to rob a bank. And it's not very realistic: Stephanie is actually about 22 and The Boy would have no concept that Robbie Rotten is naughty so why subject him to it?

3) Gigglebiz. Justin Fletcher may well have an MBE and it is well deserved. I think that every mother should be given a voucher to use that entitles them to 3hrs of childcare courtesy of Mr. Tumble to be redeemed in person in extreme cases of tiredness. The man is a genius and 'Something Special' is a firm favourite in this house with all of us. However 'Gigglebiz' is not funny: as I see it, it's a cross between 'Little Britain' and 'Benny Hill', both of which leave me reaching for the remote control. I think he's tried to indulge his love of slapstick and enforced it on children. No thank you.

4) Teletubbies. I actually like the programme and so does The Boy, but he gets really upset and cries when they disappear over the hills. I can't allow my child to develop separation anxiety for a red creature with a flipping circle on its head and a television in its stomach! So it stays off for the moment.

5) Spongebob Squarepants. I don't get it. That's all I have to say on the matter.

 

While I'm at it, remember this advert?

Music I Want my Children to Listen to: The Jam

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Specifically 'A Town Called Malice'.

It is without a doubt one of my all-time favourite songs. I can not help myself when I hear those opening bars; the feet start tapping, the head starts nodding in time, I whistle and then I have to sing it. Either in my head or out loud. To be honest, by the time it gets to the chorus it's always out loud. I do not care where I am, it is a must.

It was one of my favourites as a child (can you tell I have two older brothers who were into punk?), but yes it is the film 'Billy Elliott' that sparked the enthusiasm back up again. And now when I hear the music I can picture the exact section of the film and what Billy is doing at each point.

How this song manages to be so happy when the lyrics are actually so God-damn despressing, I will never know. Said to be written about Paul Weller's hometown Woking as a result of his teenage experiences there, I now know I never want to go to Woking.

"A whole street's belief in Sunday's roast beef
Gets dashed against the Co-Op
To either cut down on beer or the kids new gear
It's a big decision in a town called malice."

So yes, a song about social inequality amongst the working classes and the drudgery of his mundane life is up there as one of my favourites. It's not the lyrics, it's the melody and, to be perfectly frank, Paul Weller's voice. I've seen him in concert and he was fantastic. Literally fan-tastic; he knows what the people turn up to hear and obliges.

It's not just this song though, it's the others like; 'Down in a tube-station at midnight' (again, graphic lyrics), 'Eton Rifles (my brothers' favourite) and 'Going Underground'.

Mr. Weller is a genius, The Jam are a must.