With friends like these…

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I have had cause recently to re-evaluate a couple of friendships. Not that I'm getting cocky or anything, but you do have to wonder how deep and meaningful a relationship it is if they upset you or make you feel mediocre on a regular basis.

Take today for example. An old university friend was back in the area visiting her parents, and did the 'pop in for and hour and a half before going onto the next person on my list' thing. I perfectly understand that, God I've been in that situation myself. This (childless) friend of 12 years turned up late, mocked my parenting skills and choices, patronised my son, half-ate the cake that I had made especially for her (on her request!) and scooted off with a 'see you in a year' flippancy. I was left feeling aghast, with an untouched Victoria Sandwich and my unimpressed son for company.

Only last week in work, I sobbed my heart out on another 'friend' who was fabulous. Only for her to later completely ridicule me in a 'humorous' manner infront of the entire staffroom. What's that about?

Then at the other end of the spectrum is my oldest friend (not in an age sense). I'm two years older than her and have known her since her birth. My mum used to look after her, she lived opposite, her brothers and sisters were/are friends with mine. We were thrown together as a matter of course. At various points in our time we've been closer than others; the worse and greatest absence is when we got married (no, not to each other!). Her husband and I didn't like each other. 9 years down the line and we hadn't seen each other since her eldest (8yrs) was born. However when I texted her to tell her about dad's cancer, by the time I'd put the phone down, it was ringing. Last May she texted me to say her and hubby were splitting up & I rang straightaway. It was 11pm at night. Since she's moved back to the area we have a new-found friendship on a level like never before. And The Boy adores her.

Another friend pointed out to me earlier "Friends are meant to make you feel good, help, pick you up when you feel rubbish, etc. Not criticise condemn and complain!" She has a very good point. I know we can't always be there, but surely it's a questionable relationship if you get nothing positive from it?

And then you get the friend who does this to cheer you up:

Thank you for being so thoughtful and kind.

Expressions

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Tara has been a bit tricky with this week's theme is: Expressions. 'Laughing, crying, angry, sad, happy, yelling, smiling, shocked, pained, peaceful. Let's get expressive.'

I did consider getting abstract with the theme, but then I thought that I'd just let The Boy speak for himself.

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Music I Want my Children to Listen to: Barlow/Williams/Owen

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Have you connected the names together yet? Yes, it's Gary, Robbie and Mark. Sorry Jason and Howard, you don't get a look in. While the latter may be doing a bit more singing nowadays, to me they will always be the tall break-dancers who make the others look good.

The reason I have specified these names rather than Take That is because I am including their combined song-writing ability with their individual work. I own every TT album (old and new), Gary's solo CDs, all of Robbie's collections (aside from the God-awful Rudebox, did anyone buy it or listen to it more than once?), and yes, I own Mark's album too. What's more I liked it. So nurgh!

So I've clumped them together for the purpose of this selection because I think they are a rather talented bunch. Between the three of them as solo artists and as a group they have:

  • sold over 100 million albums worldwide;
  • won over 20 Brit awards between them;
  • won 5 Ivor Novello awards;
  • and one of them has been voted the greatest British songwriter of all time.

So here are my favourites:

Old Take That song;

  • Everything Changes But You (cheeky and lively; love the video)

New Take That song (pre-Robbie);

  • Rule the World

New Take That song (post-Robbie);

  • Kidz

Gary Barlow solo song;

  • Open Road

Mark Owen solo song;

  • Four Minute Warning

Robbie Williams solo song;

  • I will talk and Hollywood will Listen.

The songs are good, old-fashioned, middle-of-the-road, songs with good melodies and rousing lyrics. I like them and am unashamed of it*!

(*Ok, I possibly feel the need to excuse my choice, but admit it you've got a favourite Take That song too!)

Movie Meme: Films of the 21st Century

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Following Kate's Listography of our favourite films last week (I stand by my choice of 'The Breakfast Club'), it highlighted just how much we all love a good film; be it a weepie, a cheesy '80s dance film, a black and white classic, a thriller or a film of mystery and intrigue.

The rather lovely and fabulous Metal Mummy has harnessed our, and her, love of 'movies' to create this new meme which I'm quite looking forward to. Her choice for this week is Films of the 21st Century which is a lovely broad topic. Only problem is that we're only allowed to choose one. This has caused much consternation for me for the last hour or so, but I kept coming back to the one film that hubby was shocked I hadn't chosen in my Listography. At the time I told him that I didn't love it as much as the others, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about it ever since. I may have to dig it out later and watch it.

For my choice I present you with:

Love Actually

I adore this film! Sitting here and trying to pinpoint why has launched me into a deeply analytical mood.

The Cast:

Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Rowan Atkinson, Liam Neeson, Bill Nighy: British Film Royalty! Wow! What an absolute achievement to get that many stars together for a film. But they're not the only ones, consider them the senior royals if you will. We are then graced with the Wills and Harrys, Zaras and Peters of the acting world: Martin Freeman, Kiera Knightley, Kris Marshall, Joanna Page, Andrew Lincoln, Martine McCutcheon, and little Thomas Brodie-Sangster. The ensemble is amazing, no doubt! The fact that they are all British is even better! Good on you Mr. Curtis!

However, aside from the show of national pride that is exhibited in this extravaganza, the reason I like it is because I feel it is the epitome of the big cast film. There have been several in the past decade or so: Crash, 2012, and of course the Harry Potter films. To me though, this was one of the first films where there weren't names chosen for impact or to draw in the crowds, the actors were chosen because they fitted together so well. And the clearly established relationships that some of them have is endearing to watch. When Emma Thompson bumps into her 'brother' Hugh Grant back-stage at the school play, I liked to think the warmth was at least slightly realistic.

The Music:

I know it's mostly Girls Aloud and The Sugababes but there were other groups in there too: Kelly Clarkson, Dido, Maroon 5, Eva Cassidy, Norah Jones, Texas, Joni Mitchell, Otis Redding and Craig Armstrong. The talent is immense! The music perfectly matches the mood of so many scenes; who else could have got Hugh Grant wiggling his bum so provocatively, or accompanied the tears of Emma Thompson so well? And I'm sorry but the passion of 'Too Lost in You' gets me every time!

The Meetings:

All the different ways that the different story-lines meet up, interweave and flow seamlessly are intriguing and get me drawing an imaginary mind-map every time. The wedding, the reception, the play, the airport. It's so damned clever.

The Scenes:

I have three favourite scenes that I have to watch every time.

  1. Hugh Grant dancing to Girls Aloud. Classic, hysterical, and oh so embarrassing!
  2. Hugh Grant kicking arse with Billy Bob's arrogant American President! Yeah you tell him what every person in this country wanted Tony Blair to tell George W. Bush! And yeah! It's because of a girl, even better! Hugh Grant for Prime Minister!
  3. Emma Thompson listening to the Joni Mitchell CD and crying. I will always sob when I watch this. Her husband has bought her what could be the most romantic Christmas present ever, a CD of her favourite artist despite hating the music. The only problem is that she knows that the expensive necklace that she saw him buy the other day is therefore for another woman then. How bittersweet? He's been romantic, but to another woman. Such a heartbreaking moment.

The ultimate Christmas Eve film!

Have you seen it in another light? I hope so.

Now pop over to the linky and see which other films you can be persuaded to watch!

"…let me count the ways."

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"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death. "
By Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I'm not a poet, and generally not into poetry, but by God that woman had passion. Imagine how strongly she felt about the person she wrote that for. Oh hang on, I don't have to imagine, I know.

So excuse the soppiness dear reader, but here's why I love my husband:

He is thoughtful. It's the little things that count and make your life easier. Half an hour ago we started getting ready to go to bed, I walked into the kitchen and my tablets were sat there on the counter next to a glass of water. Next to that was exactly half a glass of milk. Sometimes in the morning if I'm struggling to wake up, I'll stagger downstairs to find my cereal bowl and toast plate out, a spoon and knife next to them, bread in the toaster ready.

He is calm, I am not. I am hot-headed, tempestuous, stroppy and generally very high-maintenance. He deals with it all. Sometimes he doesn't react in the correct manner straightaway, but generally on a day to day basis, life with him is calm and peaceful (unless he's forgotten to empty the bin or not paired the socks). Having grown-up as the youngest of four children, life could get fraught. Even now, I struggle to keep calm sometimes, he helps.

He is funny. He jokes that he is the funniest person I know and, aside from The Boy who is unintentionally funny, he is. I've not been able to appreciate his humour much since The Boy's arrival, tiredness has removed my funny bone (not literally, it's a metaphor see?), but he is humorous.

He gets me. He understands why I get wound up and that it's usually hiding a deeper upset, he knows how to react and he backs me up. He never offers a controversial opinion without the go-ahead, as he knows that I probably don't want to hear that. There is never any pressure or guilt laid thick.

He is my soul-mate. From the moment that I saw him at the end of the train station underpass I knew that he was The One. He reminded me that that was 11yrs ago the other week, guiltily I had to admit that I hadn't realised the date. This year we will have been married for ten happy years, long may it continue!