The Wonders of Revolting Rhymes

There are an awful lot of, quite frankly, horrendous nursery rhymes out there.

Jack fell down and broke his crown. I don't understand why anyone would build a well at the top of a hill to start with but there you go. And then to top it all off, Jill suffers the same fate. Humpty was smashed to pieces and irreparable. Lovely, scrambled eggs; especially after all the King's horses and men had stomped in it. Down will come baby, cradle and all. Nice, why the hell were they rocking their baby in a tree in the first place? We all dip our heads in the deep, blue sea. Yep, they're drowning. Think Titanic but without the sapphire necklace. As if those Three blind mice didn't have enough to contend with by being visually impaired, the farmer's wife then disabled them further. And I'd hate to be that weasel standing in the queue in the shop when people start asking for half a pound of tuppenny rice.

Then there are the nursery rhymes where quite frankly the children do not set a good example to my son.

I would rather my child use cutlery to eat his Christmas pie than follow the example of Little Jack Horner. Georgie Porgie was a cowardly flirt and bully who knew when to scarper. Little Johnny Flynn needs a good slap as well as reporting to the RSPCA for trying to drown cats. And I do not want The Boy growing up with arachnaphobia like his parents, so Little Miss Muffet needs to get a grip pretty damn quickly if she wants to reside in this house.

However.

If those blooming blackbirds do not find somewhere else, other than outside my bedroom, to welcome in the new day with their sensationally loud chorus at 4am every morning, then I will be baking up my own dainty dish to set before the king!

ShowOff ShowCase: The One That Should Have Done Better (3)

This weekend's ShowOff ShowCase theme is the very popular:

 

 

The One That Should Have Done Better

 

 

 

It seems that we all have those posts that are left feeling unloved and dejected at the bottom of the statistics chart. A lot of the time, it wasn't their fault and why should they be made fun of by the high flyers?

So this Saturday show them the Gok Wan treatment by popping my badge on the bottom of them, link them up here and show them off again. Help them prove that they know how to look good, naked or otherwise! Help them walk down the catwalk of better-viewed posts, remove the metaphorical dressing gown of shame, hold their heads high and shout at everyone: I SHOULD HAVE DONE BETTER!

By Carla Long Sleeve Bib and Splash Mat

We have recently been sent a By Carla Bib and Splash Mat to review.

By Carla is a range of products launched in 2009, which includes products for use throughout pregnancy and with babies and toddlers. These stylish and contemporary products include:

  • support pillows
  • blankets
  • changing mats
  • sleeping bags
  • bed protectors

The product which interested us was the waterproof bib and splash mat. Now it just so happens that The Boy is actually quite a tidy eater; he's never really been one to smear his food everywhere, something that my father has often commented on. He (The Boy, not my dad) tends not to miss his mouth, doesn't like dirty fingers and asks to be cleaned if he does get a little mucky (unlike his grandad).

However he does like his craft activities, including painting, water play and cooking. Therefore we decided to test the bib and splashmat out in these situations, as well as at tea-time, which just goes to show the versatility of them.

As you can see he's been kept clean and dry throughout, which makes me happy (less washing) and him happy (not mucky). The splash-mat we used under the easel to save the floor.

There are two other really good features about this bib; there is a fold under crumb catcher (brilliant for younger babies who sometimes miss) and because it's waterproof it can go straight into the sink and be washed up like the dishes! Excellent!

Competition:

I have a By Carla Bib and Splash Mat Set (worth £12.99) in either nougat or playtime to give away to one lucky reader.

To enter please do the following things:

I've entered to win a @ByCarla_uk bib on @TheBoyandMe's blog https://www.theboyandme.co.uk/?p=2106

  • Leave one comment below to tell me that you've done both

For an extra entry please 'Like' By Carla on Facebook. You'll need to leave a separate comment to tell me that you've done that one.

T&C

Competition closes on Friday 17th June 2011 at 8pm. I will draw and notify the winner that evening and they need to respond by Sunday 19th June or I will redraw. Facebook or twitter cannot be held responsible for this competition. Open to UK addresses only.

THIS COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED.

The Gallery: My Back Garden

The past few weeks have been dull and dreary, following an early burst of summertime. I'm desperately hoping that we will have more Summer, especially for The Boy's birthday in a fortnight. I am panicking about the weather, it makes a change from panicking about the patio furniture and tableware. However, we're lucky because generally the weather in June is good and we have a lovely back-garden in which we can have many a party. No fuss and nonsense in soft-play centres for us, not until I discover the reason why everyone goes there (I suspect that it's because hosting a party is expensive and messy, I'm yet to find this out).

Tara is also obviously feeling the need to celebrate our own little patches of turf or bark, patio or railway sleepers.

I thought it was time we give our Gallery a bit of colour. A bit of oomph. I thought it was time we got out into the fresh air and enjoyed the spring sunshine (well, certainly here in the UK) and take in lungfuls of fresh air. And I thought it was time we showed the world just how beautiful the simplest of things can be. Who needs lots of fancy when you can step into your back garden and discover ladybirds, the most gorgeous blooms, vibrant trees and all manner of adventures?

So, this week's theme is: My Backyard.

I love my garden, it is my own little patch of heaven and one of the reasons that we bought this house. It's an ex-council house and, by and large, they are known for having decent sized, rectangular gardens. Which it is.

70 foot long  by 30 foot wide.

When we bought the house, the garden was much the same as every other garden in the neighbourhood; a concrete path to a concrete washing-line post, grass and a hedge. Now, it is the only garden on either side for 5 or 6 gardens (that's as far as I can see out of the back bedroom window) that is anything but that.

This is the before and preparation.

I'm a little OCD about things, especially in my garden and so I planned the decoration of my new blank canvas and this is what the result was. Yes, if I remember correctly, it is drawn to scale.

Everything  panned out almost as I wanted it to, although we've made a few adjustments to it over the last year in order to create more play space for The Boy. Also having been to The Getty Centre in Los Angeles and been inspired by the beautiful gardens there, my water feature changed somewhat.

This is the picture that I posted last week in my 365 to show what my garden looks like now.

And these are some of the reasons why I love my backyard.

Now pop over and see the other entries using this nifty little gizmo.

I am beginning to panic.

Why am I panicking? "You are normally a beacon for tranquility" I hear you all chorus (not quite loudly enough, especially those of you at the back)

In just over two weeks it will be The Boy's birthday. This is a time to celebrate and be happy; plan a party and have a great time spoiling my little cherub. So why am I panicking?

Because I haven't done a thing towards his party yet at all! Or so it feels like it. Last year, I'd been preparing this moment for months and months. I'd been making Very Hungry Caterpillar bunting to hang around the garden. I'd bought all the tableware. I'd weeded, or rather had cajooled husband and, on one occasion, my mother into weeding (my pelvis was still dodgy from the SPD). The patio furniture had been sanded down and everything looked stunning.

However, this time I'm having issues. Hubby is useless at weeding and I still can't physically manage it. I don't need to make bunting because I have 50 metres of the stuff from last year. I can't find any tableware to go with my theme of 'cars'. That's 'cars' with a lowercase 'c' not 'Cars' as in the Disney film because I don't want that. I want 'cars'. And here's the other problem: even if I could find tableware for the party, I don't have a table to put the stuff on since I made hubby bin the main component of our patio furniture set. Oh don't worry, the benches and chairs are going  to follow in the next few days.

Why am I doing this so close to The Boy's birthday? Well the wasps are eating it. Or nesting in it. Or something. Whatever they're doing to it, it's covered in the damn things. And after nine years, I really do feel that I deserve some new patio furniture. Aside from the wasps molesting the wood, it's also had several winters of being left out uncovered and so has warped and is now splintering. Not safe, not comfortable and more importantly not attractive in my perfectly south-facing beautiful paradise.

So now, this weekend I need to find a new garden furniture set.

Which is just as well because Tesco Direct have a whole load of them on offer this forthcoming Bank Holiday weekend! Hooray for the place where every little helps!

This is an editorial post for which I was sponsored. The links were put in on behalf of Tesco Direct, but the rambling content is mine; they can get their own.

And I really do need new furniture because the wasps are eating it, why would I make that up?

 

Dear Grandpa SIGG

How are you and Grandma SIGG?

Splash and I had a good journey over from Switzerland, the journey wasn't too long and we remembered to have plenty of water to drink to help with our ears popping on the flight. We were driven to our new house and it was quite hot when we arrived. So we got to have a wash straight away to wash the dust off, and then we were topped up with lovely fresh water which we helped to keep cool for a long time.

Our new family have got a funny little person in the house that is called The Boy. He has become my new best friend and takes me everywhere with him. The Boy seems to really like me; he keeps flipping me open and shut because he thinks my green hat is funny, his mummy taught him how to turn my neck so that my hat sits properly and he is very careful not to spill any of my water now. His mummy is very fond of my big sister Splash, and takes her to a big building called school a couple of times a week. She is getting very clever, she helped me to write this letter Grandpa.

I'm having a marvellous time here in Wales. The Boy, his mummy and his daddy have taken us to lots of different places. One of the the places that they take us to quite regularly is called the beach. You and Grandma would love it there, it has lots of something called 'sand' which can be used to build a castle. The Boy is getting quite good at building them and he even let me help him the other day. I found the spade a bit tricky to use.

Grandpa, it was a beautiful beach but spoilt by some rubbish! Most of the rubbish that had missed the bins was plastic bottles. I think many of the 250,000 plastic bottles that are dumped every hour in the UK ended up on this beach! It's so silly to leave them on the beach, I saw one get swept away with the swishy water and I remembered what you taught me about the million sea animals that get killed each year! I hope someone picked it up. I'm shocked that this country is still using so many plastic bottles; haven't they heard of the SIGG family over here? I felt really sorry for the others, they only get used once and then thrown away. I don't like to think what happens to them once they've done their job once, they must feel so underused and dejected.

You wouldn't believe how dull they look as well, they obviously haven't had anyone pick out their clothes and dress them lovingly, like you and Grandma did with us. Splash and I felt so sorry for them that they don't have anyone to love them like The Boy and his mummy do with us. We could make their world a much better place by showing off the lovely colours and patterns on our coats!

The Boy was really kind and he even shared his potato rectangles with me. I quite like them, I hope he lets me have some again another time.

I must go to bed now Grandpa, it is getting passed my bedtime.

Lots of love

Your little Desert Fun!