The Floristry Commission

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I was arranging the beautiful bouquet of wedding anniversary flowers from Mr. TheBoyandMe last week when my mind started to wander. This is not unusual with me, I am incapable of staying focused on one thing since having The Boy, and usually I'll contemplate anything from what we're having for dinner, to the fact that the grass needs cutting, via how many children does Jim Branning exactly have?

This time though I had a little thought about my top jobs. The jobs that I'd like to do if I wasn't a teacher, an ever more enticing thought these days! I've blogged about these thoughts before, listing traffic warden (watch out!) and baby-friendly coffee-shop owner as top choices. I'd forgotten about wanting to be a florist.

My paternal grandfather (known as Bampi) was a horticulturalist. I use that term because he was a gardener, but also spent some time working in a florist's making beautiful bouquets for loving wives like me. I like to think I've inherited his green thumb as I'm quite good at making things grow (especially weeds) but am fairly nifty at creating bouquets and arranging them.

In my florist's shop we would have huge buckets of flowers creating a carpet of flowers which would be creeping up the walls. Of course I'd have climbing pot plants all over the place; picture a Victorian style conservatory with wrought-iron display units interwoven with ivy, jasmine and bougainvillea. Rolls and rolls of satin ribbon in every shade under the sun, and a kaleidoscope of coloured cellophane to rival the biggest ebay shop!

Of course, I would be able to implement another top preferred career of professional gift-wrapper with my huge selection of gifts for her and him. Those little extras that require the attentions of the swirliest ribbons, neatest corners and shiniest paper.

What extras could I sell for the perfect birthday gift? What would you sell?

The Gender Issue

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When I had a son, I thought 'hurrah, no hormonal issues to deal with!'

Fool!

While there won't be a monthly warzone to contend with come teenage years, there is still the surges in testosterone, and it seems from recent events, that the first one has started.

Last night, as if by a stroke of good luck (either that or The Baby Centre have read my blog and seen that he's having a touch of the wolly-coddles, which let's face it is unlikely) there appeared an e-mail in my inbox which highlighted that the differences between boys and girls were becoming more apparent as our infants progress. It seems two and a half is a prime time for these difference to start manifesting themselves and they gave some background information and top tips, some of which I want to try and follow, and therefore share with you!

I'm not one to indoctrinate The Boy into typical male behaviour; he's always had a baby to help him to understand how to be kind and caring, and now with the PlayMobil house we've had to review (more about that in another post) he's acting out our lives in order to comprehend them. Daddy and he play football in the garden together, but that's as macho as it gets.

Apparently, male babies are born with as much testosterone as a 25-yr old man! This then plummets until puberty. Testosterone is responsible for developing some areas of the brain and neural connections and surpressing some others. Male and female brains develop in different ways, with males developing deeper emotions, such as fear. I wonder if this might explain the separation anxiety that he sometimes experiences?

Tips for Raising a Well-Rounded Boy

  • Give him some responsibility: He's always asking if he can help me, so I get him to pass me the pegs or
  • Let him show his emotions: Well, that's not a problem at the moment is it?! He's allowed to cry, be hurt and show his feelings. I don't want an emotionally stunted son, his future wife will not thank me for it.
  • Let him develop his nurturing side: The other day he chose to play with a toy highchair and feed the baby. I don't have a problem with this, he's in tune with the needs of others.
  • Introduce him to music: Well that's why the piano was bought seven years ago when neither of us can play. I want him to have a sense of accomplishment and enjoy making music.

Food for thought!

 

The Gallery: My Kitchen

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The theme for this week's The Gallery requires visiting an area of the house that's going to get a lot of use over the next month, more than normal and culminating in either catastrophic chaos or a calm culinary corner away from glitz and sparkle:

This week's theme is: The Kitchen.

It can be food, or your corner of the kitchen, or something you particularly love in there, your apron, your favourite recipe book.

Growing up, we had a tiny kitchen. Little more than a galley, there was just about room for two people to stand either end as long as they didn't want to pass. For a household of six people, it was far from ideal, but as it was located in the first floor extension of a four-storey house which had been converted into maisonettes, there was little room for expansion.

When we bought this house I sighed wearily when I saw the size of the kitchen. We live in a 1950s ex-council, three-bedroom, semi-detached house and the kitchen, again, was woefully inadequate in comparison to the remainder of the house. However, we were lucky because we needed to do a fair amount of structural work to the property and so were able to create more space by knowing the hall cupboard and pantry out and joining them onto the kitchen.

I love the room now. It's big enough for several people to stand around in and chatter while I cook, there's plenty of workspace and cupboards, and on a day like today the sun streams through the south-facing window and sets the walls alight with am amber glow.

My kitchen is the place where this happens:

It's a place to show off these:

And, despite me always maintaining that I hated things on the fridge, it is now The Gallery in this house:

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Tuesday 29th November 2011 – 'Gone' (332/365)

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That's it, the last one gone.

And it makes me really sad. It's been in the cupboard unused for the past month or two, ever since the last sickness bout. He was only having two ounces at bedtime anyway and the intention was to switch to a tippy-cup but then we had to withdraw dairy from his diet for a week and never went back to giving him milk at bedtime. 

I said toMr. TheBoyandMe that I wished I'd been able to video him having his milk one last time because the look on his face was such a delight; he really enjoyed his bottles and the little baby grunts as he guzzled were gorgeous. Today after he woke up he called for milk over the monitor. I thought, 'this is an opportunity for one last time'. He took one look at the bottle and asked whose it was, was it a baby bottle. And then… he couldn't suck the milk out, he'd lost the technique. I tranferred it to a tippy cup and binned the bottle.

Bye-bye babyhood!

Hormones!

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Yesterday I went to one of my toddler group's coffee sessions in a house that I've not been to before. The host mum just so happens to have been in the same secondary school as me, but a few years below, and it's been strange meeting up with her again. She has four fabulous children and is a marvellous mum, I've asked her advice many a time since the beginning of the summer holidays.

Chatting to her, we discussed The Boy's growing need to assert his authority and display of emotions (terrible twos? My child? Never! Ha!) and she was explaining that around this age, or just before they hit the age of three, they have their first surge of testosterone. Apparently, it's recommended that they spent as much time as possible with their father to a) have the male influence rubbed off on them, and b) be put back into their place like pack animals trying to assert themselves as the alpha-male.

I found this really interesting and thought about it all day. He has become more 'trying' lately, and I know that it's the stage of development. I know he's finding growing independence and confidence, this is apparent as he will now talk to anyone telling them "I'm (his name) and this is mummy!" or "Hello lady, what's your name?". I also know that he's becoming overwhelmed with a rush of hormones and emotions, so that when he's told 'no' it becomes the most traumatic event in the world and he will often have a mini-paddy resulting in tears. He becomes confused by this, if I ask him why he's crying he will tell me through the tears "I don't know" and try valiantly to stop it. I hold him close, wipe his face and kiss his tears away. With the odd occasional paddy, I've sat him on the sofa as a 'time-out' spot and had to walk away to breathe and remember that he is only a child, and I'm the adult.

Rewinding to the coffee session, The Boy picked up a toy rifle and brought it over to me on the sofa. He asked me what it was and I told him that it was a not-nice toy and he wouldn't be playing with it. Luckily the host wasn't around to be offended, but am I alone in thinking 'I don't want my two year old playing with guns'? I don't want him ever to think that guns are ok, I will never buy or allow a toy-weapon into the house. One of the other mums was sat next to me on the sofa and affirmed my actions by saying she didn't allow them in her house either (and she's a childminder too). It was at this point that The Boy brought over the toy highchair in the room, placed the baby lying on the floor in it and preceeded to feed it a biscuit.

(This is a post in two halves, the above was written last night, below relates to today's antics)

Today, has been a bad day with the hormones. It's not helped by the fact that he's poorly and knackered. If he will wake up at four o'clock and demand to play with the iPod what does he expect? (No, I didn't let him!)

We're both shattered as a result, but it's not helped by these tantrums when he can't get his own way. A friend came over for lunch and took too long leaving. It meant that he was late going to bed and as a result neither of us had any patience. I asked him six times to take his trousers and pants off and sit on the potty. He ignored me so in the end I did it. Which is when it all went pear-shaped. He kicked, screamed, shouted, hit, lashed out and sobbed hysterically. I remained calm telling myself that I am the adult and he is the child. But it's hard when you're little precious bundle is kicking you in the chest as you struggle to get his pull-ups on his moving feet. In the end, I put him in his cot sans clothes and excited the room to sit on the toilet and cry. I didn't, because that would have frightened him even more. When I went back in a minute later, he was astonished and apologetic.

I looked at him and I saw so much: my innocent and placid baby, my clever and inquisitive toddler, and me. I saw me with the teenage rage as I struggled with hormones. Not knowing why I was screaming into my pillow, just knowing that I had to. Only he's two and I don't want that for him. We hugged each other and his sobs subsided.

People talk about girls being hard-work, but no-one warned me about the testosterone! Anything else I need to know?

Choo-Choo: A Train Set Review

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A few months ago I contemplated getting The Boy started on a wooden train set. When I was a nursery nurse working with the two-three year olds, I used to love setting up elaborate layouts for them before they came in every morning, even if the little blighters did destroy it within five minutes. I mentioned to Tracey from London Toy Co. that I was wondering if this was the next step forward for The Boy with his toys, and out of the blue she very kindly sent me this:

Which I think you'll agree was rather kind of her, and The Boy was chuffed as well!

The large wooden railway set has 100 pieces in its sturdy carry-case. I can hear some of you squealing; I'm not sure if it's delight or dread at the amount. But for us, that's 100 pieces of fun and imagination. Not all of the pieces are train track, there are a lot of other items to make a 'town' like: a bus, trees, church, people, cars, train, houses etc. The attention to detail in the variety of accessories really allows for the imagination to develop: The Boy was 'brumming' the cars under the bridge and around the houses within minutes. He also built a little house up and then parked one of the cute cars outside.

The track pieces are obviously designed to fit with other compatible sets, which is incredibly useful. All of the pieces included in the box make the cover illustration and I created it within a few minutes. He loves having a bridge to drive the trains over and cars under.

This is a brilliant starter set with such a wide variety of pieces included that it is hard to fault it; it's such good value for money. However I would like to point out one or two tips for ease of use:

  • in the left picture above you can see that the bridge piece rests on two supports, however it can easily slide off the supports demolishing the bridge. We've fixed this by gluing the bridge unit to the supports.
  • the tracks have a variety of junction pieces in them (which is really hard to come across and ever so useful) but most of the normal track pieces are curved. There are only a handful of straight pieces which makes it difficult to come up with another layout.

Combine this starter set with a few more straight pieces and it is perfect for keeping pre-schoolers entertained for hours on end! We love the inclusion of the road vehicles and buildings.

The Large Wooden Railway Set is available from London Toy Co. for £54.99

We were sent this item for the purpose of this review. My opinion is honest and unbiased.

SWF Seeks A New BFF

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No not me don't worry! Having just celebrated ten years of marriage, I think Mr. TheBoyandMe might be a little concerned to see me using asingles dating service.

The other day the 'My Pictures' screensaver started up on the laptop. The Boy absolutely adores watching the pictures flash up and was fascinated by one of them that he hasn't seen before; a group shot of our wedding. I opened up the picture for him to study in greater detail and we spent a good ten minutes identifying the people in it. He realised who mummy and daddy were, could find the immediate relatives but some of the extended family were a bit trickier, and some of his cousins were just a twinkle in their daddies' eyes at the time.

Looking around the group was fascinating to see the relationships that have flourished or withered since our wedding day. Two of the couples were married within a few months of us (one of them since divorced sadly, the other still on the up), two more marriages have had their trials and tribulations but still going strong, one couple split with my friend now happily married to her millionaire (I kid you not) and a little Welsh Cake cooking, one has since found her dream husband, and one just seems to have no luck.

For this final friend, my heart breaks. All she wants is to settle down and have a family, but it's just not happening. Having moved from Cardiff to the south coast of England earlier this year to settle down with someone who she thought was Mr. Right, she's found out he was Mr. Alright-Not-Now-Love-I'm-Busy-Talking-To-This-Other-Woman and has had to relocate cities and jobs again.

I'm not sure why she has such difficulty; she's slim, attractive, bubbly, successful (a store manager in a well-known high-street store), caring and funny. Somehow though, she seems to keep finding men who are incapable of maintaining a relationship for longer than a year. I've told her that she needs to look at the relationships in a different light, base them on friendship for longevity rather than his ability to hold a pint of lager, packet of crisps and a cheeky vimto without spilling a drop. She has decided that she will be using an online dating facility from now on, and at least that way she can get all the awkward questions out the way and sort the wheat from the chaff!

I'm hoping that when I've finished celebrating the next ten years of wedded bliss, I will look at that picture and be safe in the knowledge that she found Mr. Right and not another Mr. Alright-You'll-Do!

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