Listography: My Wedding

This week, Kate has decided to be slightly patriotic and commemorate the Royal Wedding by dedicating her Listography to the Kate that suddenly became a Catherine. In order to show solidarity to the lady entering the world of wife-dom, we need to share with the world '5 Things We Would Change About Our Wedding.'

Despite always saying that I wouldn't change a thing about my wedding, I can very easily think of five things. And they are not funny!

  • The Photographer

Our photographer was the same one that my sister had used six years before and her photos were amazing. Ours? Not so much. She got married in September with early-afternoon Autumnal sunshine; I got married at 3pm in late November. I've since come to the conclusion that the photographer could not have ballsed hers up because everything was handed to him on a platter. However, there was very little thought when it came to our photos.

We got married in 2001 before people were really using digital cameras and so his was a 'film' camera. He didn't wind the film on properly and all the photos taken before the wedding, of my husband and his family, and of my dad and I in the car and walking up the drawbridge, did not get taken. I found this out straight away and it upset me before I'd even walked inside the venue. The flash he used was too bright, resulting in an over-exposed foreground and a background entirely blacked out. In 90% of the photographs I am blinking because of the flash.

This year we will have been married for ten years and I still do not have a wedding album because the 'official photographs' upset me too much.

  • The Best Man

Absolute idiot. Let's just check here: is it acceptable to say "I don't know the bride at all but I can talk about the groom's ex-girlfriend"? Is it?! And it is acceptable to ignore the deathly silence? The only thing acceptable about his speech was when my new mother-in-law told him to shut up and sit down.

  • The Cake

My mother paid £200 for our cake, which back in 2001 was a lot of money. It was a beautiful fruit cake but the decoration was atrocious. I asked for white chocolate covering, and hand-made sugar flowers shaped like hydrangea flowers in a purple-blue sprinkled over as if they were falling down the cake. I got a white chocolate covering with icing piped around the join in the middle of the two tiers where she'd left the cake-board in (WHY?!) and pink daisies glued all over with silver dusting. I looked at it, said "thank you very much", got in the car and sobbed. We went straight home where mum and I prized all the flowers off. Too late, it was ruined. Thankfully one of the waitresses in the hotel had done a cake-decorating course and came in four hours early the next day to re-ice it whilst my mum contacted the florist who created a fresh-flower centrepiece.

  • Evening Reception

This is just a weenie after-thought here. We got married at 3pm, and because of that we sat down to eat at the reception at 5pm-ish. By the time people had eaten, terrible, awful speeches had happened (my husband wrote his that morning on a scrap of yellow envelope: I will never forgive him), toasts, and the magician (yes we did and he was brilliant!) had happened, it was 8pm plus. We didn't have a disco or a first dance, because we don't Neither do any of our family. However, this meant that it all basically fizzled out by 9.30pm which was a shame. I wish we'd had some form of evening entertainment and a small buffet. A friend of ours had bacon butties as the late-night snack which struck me as genius.

  • Preparation

We were fairly young when we got married, I was 23 and hubby was 26. Not having been married before, we didn't really think some of the things about the ceremony through, for example the actual service. Oh, we chose the vows, had readings (my sister forgot hers but I knew she would so had a copy ready) and got all the main bits correct. But I remember distinctly walking into the ante-chamber in the castle, looking at the registrar and saying "I don't know what to do!" Turns out that my husband-to-be had said exactly the same thing! We were living in Reading at the time, but got married in Cardiff mid-term and so couldn't get back to meet with her and discuss the service. We literally had no idea what the hell was going to happen! But we managed it, and yes, we both fluffed our lines.

Saying all of this above makes the wedding sound trouble-ridden. It was not, it was one of the best days of my life which I remember being distinctly happy and relaxed about. So much so, that my mother had to wake me up in the morning at 11am to start getting ready!

Now pop over to Kate's blog to check out the other Listographies.

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  1. says

    Oh I am sorry to hear about your photographer, I have some decent photo's but the whole experience still upsets me and if I saw my photographer in the street I would like to fly kick him!

    OMG at your best man!

    I too asked the registrar what do we do/say on the morning, only to be reassured with 'don't worry all you need to remember is your name'. Phew!


  2. says

    I hadn't got a clue what to do either as we never had a meeting with the registrar. As you say luckily they tell you exactly what to do. :-)

  3. says

    Our best man was a complete idiot too. He made a shit speech which left the guests shifting uncomfortably in their seats and I eventually had to tell him to 'shut up and sit down' just like your MIL, and THEN he got all upset afterwards because he'd messed it up and my new hubby was supposed to spend the night comforting him. Tosser! Phew that feels better.

  4. says

    OMG! After reading so many of these 'what I would change about my wedding' 's I am so glad that we went to Gretna green, never had a cake, never had a photographer & never had speeches.
    Maybe you should do it all again on your 10yr Anniversary??

  5. Mammywoo says
    WHat is his number?!? I want to kick his arse!!!! How flipping rude!!!!
    How come you don't have a first dance? Just out of interest? I'm dreading that bit if we ever get married and for some reason I never thought about skipping it. You're just full of good ideas!!
    Sorry about your photographer. Such a shame.

  6. says

    This is brilliant, I am getting married in October so I have taken notes…. :P

    The best man WAS an idiot! My OH's best man is his lovely brother, who I HOPE will not be a repeat of yours!

    Our photographer is my cousin's husband. He doesn't claim to be a pro but then we don't want formal, professional photos. We just want people enjoying the day. We're hoping that by reducing that pressure on him he will be able to take lots of nice casual photos!

    My cake is being made by a really good friend from uni, but I will bear your experience in mind and make sure she knows what we want!

    Thanks for such a great post!

  7. eviegracesmummy says

    This just proves that you 2 obviously adore each other as its still a day that is so special inspite of all that happened. I think you should renew your vows to right to wrongs (without your tw*t of a best man)

  8. jennie says

    Oh my goodness, your best man!!!!
    We get married on 10th September, reading all of this week's listography posts has made me think very carefully about what is important to me, to us, for our big day x

  9. KatieB says

    I'm so sorry about your photo's chick and the speeches. It is a real shame not to have a proper wedding album. I've never bothered to do ours but I'd like to have one now, I'm sure the TT's would love looking at it. If I do get round to it, it'll have only taken 8 yrs!!

    We got married abroad and didn't really give photos etc that much thought. There was one photographer available & we didn't have a clue what he'd be like, we ended up getting married just as the sun was setting which was lovely but made for pretty shit and rushed pictures. That is my one and only regret really. Plus the fact that I cried sooo much my face looked like a big puffy mess…guess the darkness was a kind of blessing really.

    The registrar was rather funny though, as was the look on my hubs face as he told him he'd have to build me a house and buy me a comb – Yes, really…a comb! He also called me Miss Catty all the way through bless him xx

  10. @Somethingblue_2 says

    I want to cry for you over the photographs, the cake & the best man. I do have an album of official wedding photographs but have to admit to being a little disappointed with the majority of the pictures – I think the good ones were just lucky shots if you know what I mean. Unfortunately our photographers were family members who are also professional photographers (although how they make any money I'm not sure!) who stepped in to help us out at the last minute, so we felt we really couldn't complain. I am grateful, however, for those few lovely shots that we have x

  11. Johanna says

    I'd forgotten about the magician – he was really good.
    I remember the best man. Let's not talk about him.
    I remember you saying you'd been upset by the cake, and not really understanding why, cos I thought it looked fine, but then I only saw the 2nd version.
    Your dress was fabulous, loved the colour, it really suited you.

    My wedding – can't really think of 5 things I'd change (although get me on the wrong day and I'll say 'the groom'!).
    The photos we have are fine, but there were a couple of guest combinations that I didn't get, and I'm sitting down in almost all. It would have been nice to have a few more of me standing, but that's a minor quibble.
    Maybe I'd go for something less formal than the traditional 3 course sit-down although at the time, there wasn't really any other option.
    In 19 days, it will 14 years!

  12. Mcai7td3 says

    What a plank of a best man! Plonker. Is he still friends with Hubby?
    The photographer is one thing I'd change about my wedding too. I wasn't too fussed about anything else. I just wanted to go ono holiday!! :)

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